Free What We Search For by Natasha Stories

like to have a
drink with me? Shaking my head in disgust, I resigned myself to the fact that I had screwed
up. Maybe just a simple text would do the trick, but that was a cop out. She
had wanted to spend more time with me and in all my wisdom I had gotten blind
drunk, and started a fight only to be kicked out of the club. Top that all off,
I’d been seconds away from fucking Haley, again.
    I had to stop using my
sister as an excuse. I was an idiot, and there was nothing I could do for Sarah
right now. Instead of keeping my chin up, I went on a self-destructive rampage.
Arguing with myself seemed to be the flavor of the day. I wrote multiple draft
messages but deleted every one. I stared at the call button before putting down
my phone in disgust.
    Picking my phone up again
after a moment’s hesitation, I stared at the screen again, and suddenly my
phone rang. At first I thought I had dialed out by mistake, but no. Amanda was
calling me. Watching the name flash on my screen, I hesitantly answered the
phone.
    “Hello?” I said,
awkwardly.
    “Hi, James, it’s me.”
Amanda said.
    “Hi, Amanda, how are you
today?” I asked politely. A little too politely.
    “I’m okay thanks. I wanted
to speak to you before I left for home as I feel we didn’t end things right.
Chris just spoke to me and told me what happened. I’m so sorry to hear about
your sister and I hope she gets better very soon.” She said slowly. Too stunned
to speak, I just listened as she spoke. “If I had known, I would have come and
spent time with you. You should have told me or your friends. I don’t mean to
lecture you, but I really think you shouldn’t bottle up your emotions like
that.” She said. I closed my eyes and thought of what to say. She was being so
kind to me it was overwhelming. I was still shocked Chris had said something to
her, but if he hadn’t I might not have had a chance to talk to her at all.
    “I’m sorry Amanda. You’re
right, I should have said something. Instead I got drunk and made an absolute
idiot of myself in front of everyone. I just didn’t know what to do.” I said
slowly.
    “I understand it’s a hard
time, but don’t take it out on yourself.” She replied.
    “I’m in a better place
now. I’ve come to terms with it.” I started out, “It still doesn’t excuse my behavior,
but that’s something I have to live with. I’m sorry I didn’t join you the other
night. I would have loved to spend more time with you.” I said slowly. Shaking
my head, I thought to myself just what I might have screwed up between us.
    “I would have liked that
too, but I’m leaving later today. I’d like to see you before I leave so we can
say goodbye properly!” She said hesitantly. My heart skipped a beat as she
spoke.
    “I’d like to see you too.
When are you leaving?” I asked.
    “In two hours, so it will
have to be a quick get together.” She said.
    “Would you like to go for
a walk together?” I asked.
    “Sure that would be nice.
Can you come to my hotel? I’ll be waiting outside.” She said. I agreed.
    Walking up to her hotel, I
saw Amanda coming out the door. She smiled sadly at me, and my heart sank a
little. I went to her and she wrapped her arms around me warmly. “I could have
given you this hug the other night!” She said. I returned her tender touch with
my own.
    “I wish I had said
something to you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.” I replied.
    “It’s alright, I
understand.” She said, as she left the embrace.
    We walked aimlessly.
Speaking of everything that happened. “I wish you didn’t have to leave. I
really enjoyed spending time with you.” I said.  My palms were getting sweaty.
I was nervous. She had a powerful effect over me.
    “I know. It’s a shame, but
my holiday has to come to an end. You missed out yesterday too, as the girls
and I went snowboarding again. It was a lot of fun.” She said, with a slight
smile “I didn’t fall over much at all! I bet I could