Free You Know You Love Me by Cecily von Ziegesar Page B

Why does it have to be such a big deal? Its a big
     deal because youre going to get used to this silly debutante nonsense, and youre going to
     wind up a big fake like your mother, who hangs around rich people all the time because
     shes too scared to think for herself, her father shouted, his unshaven face turning dark
     red. Dammit, Jenny. You remind me more and more of your mother every day.
    Dan suddenly felt bad. Their mother had run off to Prague with some count or prince or
     something, and she was basically a kept woman, letting the count or prince or whatever he
     was dress her and put her up in hotels all over Europe. All she did all day was shop, eat,
     drink, and paint pictures of flowers. She wrote them letters a few times a year, and sent
     them the odd present. Last Christmas shed sent Jenny a peasant dress from Germany. It was
     about ten sizes too small. It wasnt a nice thing for their father to say that Jenny
     reminded him of their mother. It wasnt nice at all. Jenny looked like she was about to
     cry. Lay off, Dad, Dan said. We werent invited to the party anyway. So neither of us could
     go even if we wanted to. See what I mean! Mr. Humphrey said triumphantly. Why would you
     want to hang out with those snobs anyway? Jenny stared glassy-eyed at the dirty kitchen
     floor. Dan stood up. Hurry up and get dressed, Jen, he said gently. Ill walk you to your
     bus stop.
    In the six-minute interval between the bell signaling the end of Latin and the bell
     signaling the beginning of Gym, Nate slipped into the computer lab at the St. Judes School
     for Boys. Every Wednesday, he and Blair had grown accustomed to e-mailing each other a
     quick love note (okay, it was Blairs idea), to help them get over the hump of the boring
     school week. Only two more days until the weekend, when they could spend as much time
     together as they wanted.
    But today Nate wasnt even thinking of Blair. He wanted to see how Serena was doing. Last
     night she had left a message on the answering machine in his room while he was watching a
     Yankees game with his friends. Her voice had sounded lonely and sad and very far away,
     even though she lived only a block and a half away from him. Nate had never heard Serena
     sound so down. And since when did Serena van der Woodsen go to bed early?
    Nate sat down in front of one of the humming PCs in the lab. He clicked on the New Mail
     window and typed a message to Serenas old Constance e-mail address. He didnt know if she
     would check it or not, but it was worth a try.
    TO:[email protected]: [email protected]
    Hey. What are you up to? I got your message last night. Sorry I wasnt there. I will
     definitely see you Friday, okay? Love, Nate. Then he opened up his own e-mail. Surprise,
     surprise, there was a note from Blair. They hadnt talked since her mothers party the
    night before last. TO: [email protected] FROM: [email protected]
    Dear Nate. I miss you. Monday night was supposed to be really special. Before we got
     interrupted I was planning for us to do something weve been talking about doing for a
     while. I think you know what Im talking about. The timing wasnt right, I guess. I just
     wanted to tell you that Im ready to do it. I wasnt ready before, but now I am. My Mom and
     Cyrus are going away on Friday and I really want you to sleep over. I love you. Call me.
    Love, Blair. Nate read Blairs e-mail twice and then closed the file so he wouldnt have to
     look at it anymore. It was only Wednesday. Was it possible that Blair could remain
     ignorant about him and Serena until Friday, even though she was in school with Serena
     every day and they were best friends and told each other everything? Chances were, no. And
     what about Chuck Bass? He wasnt exactly good at keeping secrets. Nate rubbed his pretty
     green eyes viciously. It didnt matter how Blair found out. Any way he looked at it, he was
     fucked. He tried to