Free Shanghai Girl by Vivian Yang Page B

Stepfather … He's such a … such a … terrible man! …” Tears well up in my eyes. Gordon does not seem to mind that I am sobbing. He reaches over, pats my shoulder, and says, "Sha-fei, I have a daughter of my own. I guess you're about her age. If there's anything you want to say, Uncle Gordon is here to listen.”
    "It’s, it's my stepfather. He's such a powerful man and he will destroy my future if...”
    "If what?"
    "If, if I don't obey him …"
    "What do you mean -- obey?"
    "In the worst sense you can think of."
    Gordon throws me a quick glance, then lowers his eyes, his face flushing. "I’m outraged – taking advantage of a cai mao shuang quan young lady like you … ” He calls me a woman endowed with both talents and beauty.
    “My talents do not interest him,” I say coldly. “His old friend can destroy my future if Stepfather told him to. My fate upon graduation and for the rest of my life will be controlled by Stepfather."
    "How is that possible?"
    "It's possible because all jobs are assigned by the government and determined by the school authorities. One cannot choose or switch a job assignment. You can't even decide not to take an assigned post. That's the policy. The government doesn’t give us four years of free college education without exacting a price. His friend is in a key position to hurt my chances."
    Gordon gestures for me to slow down. "I'm confused. Can't you just pack and leave and forget about dealing with these people? You know the old Chinese saying, 'Of the thirty-six stratagems, running away is the best'?"
    "Of course I know it, but I can't pack and move wherever I want. There's the government's residency registration system. Even Mother had to wait for a year to join Stepfather in his house. Without connections, there's nowhere for me to run to as long as I'm in China." As soon as I finish saying this, I realize there's a new option I've never considered before. "Unless I leave China.”
    Gordon looks at me questioningly.
    "Well, why not? I'll go to the U.S. and retrace Father's footsteps. Some of my schoolmates have gone abroad as graduate students. I just have to find out how they did it."
    Gordon's face looks serious. "Here's a piece of fatherly advice, Sha-fei. You shouldn't make major decisions of your life impulsively. I'm sure Tao would tell you the same thing if he were here. You should think things over, and weigh the pros and cons before making a decision."
    "I've been thinking about my future very hard recently. I now have no other choice. Besides, in America, I can put my talents and education to use and better myself."
    “Where did you get that idea from?”
    “I just know it. America is a land of opportunities and freedom.”
    Gordon shakes his head and laughs. “What a cliché. Everyone who has never lived in America thinks so.”
    “I believe it. At least in America, nobody could crush me just because he has all the right connections in China.”
    Gordon says, "You’re so headstrong, you remind me of my daughter Irene. She's fiercely independent and wants to do everything her way, often the wrong way."
    "I don't know what your daughter is like, but I do respect your advice."
    "I don't know what to tell you, Sha-fei. I'll certainly help you if you let me know when you need help, but with a matter like going to America, you should really discuss this with your family first. Or your boyfriend, maybe?"
    "My mother stopped caring for me long time ago.” I hesitate for a second, then add, “And I don’t really have a boyfriend."
    Gordon says pensively, "Maybe that’s not exactly a bad thing. Irene had a boyfriend who led her astray.”
    I am wrapped up in my own thoughts about boyfriends. After starting college, I was no longer quite an outcast as before, initially due to Father’s rehabilitation, and later, due to Stepfather’s influential position. However, the school encourages us students to focus on our studies and moral integrity. Couples who date are