Free Loving Lies by Lora Leigh

had been certain she would shed. The thought of those tears terrified him. How was he supposed to fight her tears?
    â€œDo I have to?” he asked, not certain if he could say the words, thanking God with every thought that she knew what he had come here for, that he wouldn’t have to say the words, wouldn’t have to let her see it was killing him to do this.
    â€œOh, I’ve heard about that part of your relationships as well.” Her voice was bleak, her words echoing with a pain she couldn’t hide. “I guess I was foolish enough to think it would last longer than a weekend. I have to say, at least I broke a record. Your shortest relationship. Lucky me.”
    She was breaking him. She was breaking his will, ripping something inside him that he didn’t know existed, with her pain-laden voice and her dark, agonized gaze.
    He wanted to comfort her. Everything inside him was screaming at him to go to her, to hold her, to tell her, to explain everything. She would understand. God help him, if he had ever believed anyone had loved him in his life, he knew Jessie did and he was a goddamned fool to walk away. But he knew there was no other choice. The best gift he could give her was the lack of hope. To be a bastard in the purest sense and allow her to get on with finding someone…
    He couldn’t finish the thought. Sons of bitches, he would kill the prick brave enough to lay the first finger on her where he could see it. He wouldn’t be able to survive if he saw another man touching her.
    â€œI’ll leave then.” He had to force the words past his throat. “You were good, Jessie. Damned good. But you were right, not mature enough…” The words stuck in his throat as he watched her flinch. As though someone had laid a lash to her soul, she jerked so hard he felt the pain himself.
    â€œI understand.” She turned away from him, a shudder racing up her back as she bared the delicate naked flesh that ran to her hips. There was no back to the dress, just slender straps holding it in place.
    His hands fisted. He couldn’t touch her. He wouldn’t touch her. But son of a bitch if it didn’t hurt to breathe, to drag each lungful of air into his chest, to survive without touching her. How the hell had he let this happen? How could one person have so much power to hurt another?
    And he didn’t love her. It became a mantra within his mind as he watched her. But she believed she loved him, how much worse was it for her? The ragged wound digging into his very spirit became deeper at the thought.
    The candles extinguished but she didn’t turn around.
    â€œLeave. Now.” Her voice was low, nearly incoherent as her shoulders shuddered. “Just leave, Slade.”
    He pressed his lips tightly together, stilling the violence inside him, the need so overwhelming it locked in his soul and screamed out in bitterness to tell her the truth. He breathed out wearily instead, turned and did as she asked.
    He left.
    Â 
    As the door closed behind him, Jessie felt herself collapsing, felt her breathing falter as the pain erupted in her chest. She didn’t bother to find the chair or to stop the slow slide to the floor. She was only thankful the leg of the table was there to brace her back, to hold her upright as she stared before her, dazed, disbelieving.
    How could she have been so wrong? It didn’t make sense, he was supposed to shower and come back with a change of clothes. They were going to eat dinner, then have dessert in her bed. They were going to… Nothing.
    She felt the breath hitch in her throat, felt the tears that scalded her cheeks a second before a sob echoed in lonely misery around her. For five years she had waited on him, certain more awaited her than a single fool’s weekend. Certain that even if the relationship didn’t work out, she would at least have the chance to try. He was a hard man, his life had been hard, but she