Free Hopeless For You by Hayden Hill

what they say. When the cat's away..."
    Suddenly I realized Ash was sobbing.
    I jerked up in my seat. "What? No. I didn't mean it. Christ." I got out of the Jeep.
    Blaine arrived just then, carrying a loaded backpack. He looked once at me, then at Ash, and dropped the backpack. "What's going on?"
    Ash was already storming away.
    "Ash," I said. "No. Come on."
    She disappeared into her dorm building.
    "What the hell did you do?" Blaine asked.
    I swallowed hard, then sighed. "The usual. I was an asshole."
    "It's going to be hard to get any work done if she hates you. You know that, right?"
    I shrugged. "She'll get over it."
    Blaine sighed. "It wouldn't kill you to be nice to her."
    I picked up the backpack Blaine had dropped and hoisted it into the Jeep. "Actually, it's probably for the best if she hates me."
    I stalked to the edge of the woods and ducked under the trees. I sat on a fallen log just out of view of the Jeep. Damn, I needed a smoke.
    What the hell had I said? I almost felt like I should apologize. I knew it was the right thing to do. But some loud, errant part of me argued that it wasn't my fault. I'd made a joke, for chrissake. A bad one maybe, but still a joke. The nicotine withdrawal was making me testy, that's all. I couldn't be blamed for that. My thoughts wavered back and forth, warring with one another, driving me deeper into bitterness and inaction.
    Finally, Blaine called my name. The concern in his voice dragged me away from my conflicted thoughts. I pushed myself off the log and took a deep breath to brace myself for having to go back to dealing with people.
    I instinctively reached up and brushed my fingertips across my neck, tracing the wings of the falcon tattoo from memory. I rested my thumb on my larynx, where the falcon's eye looked out on the world. I could almost feel the falcon there inside me, calming me, giving me strength.
    Steadying myself, I walked from the pines.
    The other three were already in the Jeep. Blaine sat in the driver's seat and Gina and Ash were in the back. Damn it—I wanted to drive today. I had half a mind to kick Blaine out from behind the wheel.
    I grudgingly swung myself into the shotgun seat, pretending I didn't notice the dark look Ash sent my way. I kept my mouth shut, not wanting to start anything. If we could all survive this trip without any major blowups I'd be happy. Well, not as happy as I would've been if we didn't have to drag the two interns along in the first place. Ash was going to be a distraction, big time. Not to mention a pain.
    I would've turned the radio on full blast but there were no stations out here and the Jeep's radio wouldn't accept CDs or tapes so I couldn't use an adapter to connect my phone. We drove in uncomfortable silence, the only sound the constant drone of the engine.
    I felt the tension in the Jeep building until finally I couldn't take it anymore. I turned to Ash and said, "I acted like a dick, okay? I should've kept my mouth shut. I'm sorry."
    I sat back in my seat, not really expecting a response. But a minute later she spoke up.
    "You did act like a dick," she said, loudly.
    I turned back, feeling a rush of defiance. But when I saw her blue eyes, saw how wary, mistrustful, and accusing they were, I lowered my gaze, feeling like she'd just slapped me in the face. I didn't like that look on her at all.
    When I glanced up again I thought I saw a flash of gratitude in her eyes. Like she was happy I acted ashamed or something. Or maybe it was a flash of victory. Damned if I could read her.
    I shifted in my seat and looked away.
    "My dad boxed in college, you know," she said. "Keep that in mind the next time you decide to touch me. Also, I have bear spray."
    I felt my cocky nature, the side of me that hated to back down from a fight, reassert itself. "What are you saying, you'll beat me up?"
    "You wish."
    I snorted. "I didn't exactly touch you. I reached for you. There's a difference."
    "Not to me."
    I shook my head but I took the fact