Free Cattle Valley 27 - Alone in a Crowd by Carol Lynne

it.”
Ryan wasn’t sure how he felt about the news, but it didn’t change his mind. “I’d like to see him.”
“Let me go in first.” Steve entered the room. “Ben? You’ve got a visitor here to see you.”
“What?” Ben muted the television he was watching. “Who is it?”
Steve glanced over his shoulder at Ryan, obviously struggling with what to say.
Ryan stepped in front of Steve and stared down at his father. He gazed into the dark eyes of the man who had made his life hell and waited.
“Are you of my people?” Ben asked.
Ryan knew he was being asked if he was Cherokee, so he nodded, but his heart sank as he realised his father honestly didn’t recognise him. “I came to talk to you if that’s okay?”
Ben’s face lit up. “I don’t get visitors since my Sarah died.” He gestured to a small, straight-back chair in the corner of the room. “Do you like Gunsmoke?”
“I haven’t watched it in years.” Ryan carried the chair over and sat several feet away from his father.
“This is a rerun,” Ben said as if Gunsmoke was still on in primetime.
“I’ll leave you two to get to know each other,” Steve said before walking out of the room.
Ryan glanced around. There were a few personal touches here and there, but nothing that would mark it as his father’s, except the two pictures on the bedside table. “You mind?” Ryan asked, gesturing to the photographs.
“Not at all.” Ben stood and walked over to retrieve the pictures.
Although there was still a slight limp and the obvious paralysis of Ben’s left arm and hand, he seemed to get around okay for a man of his age. If Ben’s memories had been affected, it probably meant other parts of his brain had as well, but overall, his dad seemed to do okay. He doubted he needed to be in the nursing home and wondered why his mom had kept him there.
Ben handed Ryan one of the framed pictures. “That’s me and Sarah on our wedding day. We didn’t even have time for a honeymoon before I left for Vietnam.”
“How soon after the wedding did you leave?” Ryan thought of his mom’s letter when she told him his dad didn’t believe Ryan was his.
“Two days later. Got married on Saturday, shipped out on Monday.” Tears filled Ben’s eyes. “Worst day of my life.”
Ryan began to wonder how far back his father’s memories actually went. “You remember it?”
“I’ll never forget it. I knew a week after setting foot in that Godforsaken country that I’d never make it out alive.”
“But you did,” Ryan reminded him.
Ben wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He pulled a white handkerchief out of his pocket and blew his nose. “Parts of me did.”
“What happened when you got back to the States?” If Ryan’s math was correct, either he’d been a month overdue or his mom had lied to both of them.
Ben shoved the handkerchief back into his pocket. “You don’t need to hear about all that. Let’s just say the war followed me home.” He stood and carried the photographs back to the bedside table without talking about the picture of Ryan as a boy. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m feeling tired.”
Without another word, Ben disappeared into the bathroom. Ryan stood and walked over to the table. He picked up the picture of himself and stared at the boy he used to be. Trying to remember, Ryan racked his brain for his first memories of his father. He tapped the picture with his finger. He was right around the age of the boy in the picture, but that couldn’t be right because he remembered his mom being drunker than shit most days when he’d get home from first grade. As a matter-of-fact, they’d almost held him back that year because he’d missed so much school trying to take care of her.
Ryan heard the toilet flush and set the photograph down. He left his father’s room and walked straight out of the building. Once he made it to his rental car, Ryan sat behind the wheel and tried to remember more of his early years. He knew in his heart he