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her, this Christmas and always. He signed it 'Jack, and she was deeply touched when she saw it, and a little while later she called to thank him. She sounded more distant than before, but a lot calmer. She was obviously coming to terms with whatever it was she was feeling. And although he was happy to hear from her, he was careful not to frighten her by being too intimate with her. But right now he was totally swallowed up by the store anyway. They had had a few problems, a small theft, a nearly fatal heart attack the day before, and a small army of lost children. The usual crises over Christmas. They had also lost the gold sequined dress of a famous star, and then found it miraculously, and had had two famous women slugging it out over one man, in cosmetics. The holidays had not been without excitement.
    I hope you have a good time with your kids tonight, though I know it will be hard for you without Matt.
    He always carved the turkey, she said sadly. She sounded so small suddenly, and all he wanted to do was put his arms around her.
    Have Paul do it, Jack said gently. I taught him everything I know. About turkeys, not about women. She smiled at what he said, and asked him if there was any news about Paul. Jack told her that Paul had an appointment to go to the specialist between Christmas and New Year's. I hope everything checks out fine, Jack said hopefully.
    So do I, she agreed with him, and she suddenly wished she had invited him to dinner, but the children would have wondered why he was there, and he couldn't have left the store anyway, and what point was there in asking him? She wasn't going to pursue a relationship with him. She had already made that decision, and as he sat listening to her on the phone, from his desk, Jack could hear her decision about him in her tone. She had already taken a definite distance from him. He thought about calling someone to go out with him on New Year's Eve, but for once in his life, he didn't even want to. He had already made reservations to go to Tahoe the day after Christmas, and he was going alone.
    Merry Christmas, Amanda, he said gently before they hung up, and he sat in his office for a long time, thinking about her. He had never known anyone like her.
    And that night, as he walked around the store, helping out wherever he was needed, he thought about them eating turkey at her house, the children, and the tree, his own son, and her two daughters, and he suddenly realized what a wasteland his life was. He had spent the last ten years chasing tits and cute little asses in tight blue jeans, and what had it gotten him? Absolutely nothing.
    You don't look like you're having such a good Christmas, Gladdie said when she left that night. He had given her a beautiful cashmere coat, and an enormous bonus. Something wrong? The kids okay? She worried about him, and she knew there was no hot mama of the moment. She also knew that he had called Paul's mother-in-law several times, and she was afraid that he might be sick, or something might be wrong with the marriage, but Jack had purposely said nothing about it.
    No, I'm fine, he lied. Except that I've wasted my life, the only woman I ever loved died thirteen years ago, and the best woman I've ever met before or since wants to bury herself with her husband. No big deal, Gladdie. Merry Christmas. Just tired, I guess. Christmas in this business is a killer.
    Every year I tell myself we'll never get through it, but we do, she smiled. Financially, it had been their best year ever.
    So what are you doing tonight? He smiled at her as she put her new coat on. It was a soft lavender-blue and she loved it.
    Sleeping with my husband. Literally. The poor guy hasn't seen me awake in six weeks, and he probably won't for another week.
    You should take a couple of days off. You deserve it.
    Maybe when you're in Tahoe. But he knew she wouldn't. She never did. She was the only human being he knew who worked harder than he did.
    As he did every year, he worked