Free Special Delivery by Danielle Steel Page B

until after midnight, and he was with the night watchman when they finally locked up at one o'clock in the morning.
    Merry Christmas, Mr. Watson.
    Thanks, Harry. Same to you. He waved, and slid slowly into his red Ferrari. But he was too tired to sleep when he got home. He watched television for a while, and thought about calling someone, but by then it was three o'clock in the morning. And for some odd reason, he felt as though those days were over. He just didn't care anymore. There were no legs long enough, no breasts big enough, no skin soft enough to woo him.
    Christ, maybe I'm dying, he said out loud, and then laughed to himself as he went to bed. Maybe turning sixty was doing it, and not just Amanda. There was no fool like an old fool, and he had certainly been one.
    He slept until noon the next day, and thought about calling her, but when he did, she was already gone. She was at Louise's house with her family, eating yet another turkey. He drove out to north L.A. and picked up some Chinese food instead, and then sat on his unmade bed, eating it, and watching football. He called a couple of girls after that, and wanted to ask them out for dinner that night, but everyone was out, and he was actually relieved not to reach them.
    He knew Amanda was home that night, but he didn't call. What could he say to her? Are you over your husband yet? Suddenly he felt like a fool for badgering her, and he tossed and turned all night, and thought of her. And finally, the next morning, he couldn't stand it. He was leaving for Tahoe that afternoon, but when she answered the phone he asked her if he could come by for a cup of coffee.
    She sounded surprised, and a little worried, but she invited him over anyway. There was always the possibility that he wanted to talk to her about Paul, or Jan, but she didn't think so. And when she saw his face, when she opened the door to him at one o'clock, she knew that it had nothing to do with their children.
    You look tired, she said, looking concerned about him.
    I am. I can't sleep anymore. Turning sixty is rougher than I thought, he said with a wry smile. I think I'm finally losing my marbles.
    How's that? He followed her inside, and they walked into her comfortable kitchen. She had a pot of coffee on, and offered him a cup, and then they sat down at her kitchen table.
    He looked at her over his coffee and asked her bluntly, I've made a real nuisance of myself, haven't I? I guess mashers don't clean up all that well. I got a little overexcited. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, that was never my intention. He looked desperately unhappy as he said it, and a lot less than sixty. He looked and felt like a kid again, visiting the one girl in the class who didn't want to go steady with him. I know how hard this time is for you. I'm sorry if I made it any harder for you.
    You didn't, Jack, she said gently, her eyes boring into his, she looked as unhappy as he felt, and as though she felt so desperately torn that she didn't know what to do about it. I know I shouldn't say this to you, but I've missed you. While he pretended to look calm, his heart flipped over as she said it.
    You have? When?
    For the past few days. I've missed talking to you, and seeing you. I honest to God don't know what I'm doing.
    Neither do I. I've been feeling like an utter fool, and the biggest pain in the ass that ever lived. I've been trying to leave you alone, because I figured that was what you wanted.
    I did. But there was a catch in her voice as she said it.
    And now? He held his breath as he waited.
    I don't know. She looked up at him with eyes the color of a cameo and all he wanted to do was kiss her, but he knew he couldn't.
    Just take your time. You don't need to make any decisions. Go slow. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. ' And then he remembered, with a grin. Except Lake Tahoe.
    Now? She smiled at him, she really liked being with him.
    Later. I still have to go home and pack my ski clothes. I should have packed