But a girl has to make money somehow, and I've carried on.
Besides my part-time work at the treatment centre, I’m providing personal
training on the use of the device. About a third of my time is spent with
wealthy women who don’t want to bother designing their own pre-sets. I go to
their houses, interview them, find out their preferences and goals, fiddle with
the controls until they’re satisfied, check on their progress and, after a
lengthy counselling process lasting several weeks, I hard-set the programming.
That pays well. Most of them want to use it to lose weight or get out of debt.
I’m trying to decide whether to
finish my doctorate or have kids. Xiang’s okay with either choice. Frankly, the
idea of children freaks me out. When would I let them implant the device? Under
what conditions? The more I think about it, the more I believe that there is
something wrong with the way that humans are designed, that we are too driven
by fear and greed, and the device provides a cheap workaround for a fundamental
design flaw. Maybe it’s not a problem if our kids are able to turn off anxiety
and longing whenever they want. It scares the crap out of me, though.
So that’s my life these days. I
can’t say I would want to go through it again. The burden is too heavy; too
many people have been damaged by the choices we made. But like Chenko said,
it’s all about two principles. Everyone’s life has the same value, and everyone
has the right to control their own body. And I still believe that.