Free Calling Me Away by Louise Bay

back?”
    “Well? Are you?”
    My hand grasped my chest. How could he think I’d ever want to hurt him? All I was doing was trying to protect myself. I needed to get out. I didn’t want him to see me cry, and I knew tears were next.
    I grabbed my bag and headed toward the door. He followed me. “Are you just going to leave? That’s it? No discussion? Fucking perfect.”
    “We’re not having a discussion. You’re shouting at me. I’m just trying—” I continued toward the door, stopping as I reached for the handle.
    “To do what, exactly? Keep yourself and me miserable? Give yourself a reason not to be with me?”
    The corridor was dark, but I could still see the shadow of Luke’s enormous frame covering me. He stood so close that if I just moved back an inch, my body would be pressed against his.
    “Please.” I wasn’t sure what I was asking for. For him to be patient with me, for him to let me leave.
    “Tell me what you want.” He spoke softly this time.
    “I want to be sure of you and how you feel. If overnight you’ve decided you want me then just as quickly you can change your mind again. I want to be sure I’m not the easy option—”
    “Believe me, I don’t think you’re the easy option. Especially not at the moment.” He sighed, and I felt him move away from me. I turned to face him. He was leaning against the wall, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his head bowed.
    “I’m sorry.”
    “Tell me how long I have to wait, what I have to do. I get that it was too soon after Emma when we first . . . But now—”
    “There’s so much at stake.” My family, my security, my world were on the line.
    “But so much to gain.”
    “It’s still only a few weeks.”
    “But not in my head, Ashleigh. I don’t think I was ever in deep with Emma. Not like I am with you. This is different. I can’t go back. You mean too much to me for me to think that this can’t work.”
    My pulse was jumping in my neck. He was saying everything I wanted to hear. “We just need time.”
    “I don’t.” He sounded so sure. “You might need time but I’m ready for the next stage of my life, and I don’t want to miss a moment.”
    “Then will you give me time?” Maybe that was it. Maybe I needed time to adjust, to trust Luke’s feelings for me.
    “How long?”
    “I don’t know. Live your life, Luke. If we’re meant to happen, we’ll know when the time is right for both of us.”

 
    Luke
    “Wow, your pace has really come on.” Fiona grabbed my wrist, pressing at buttons on my tracker. “Yeah. Your speed has gone up by twenty percent in just a few weeks. That’s incredible.”
    I fell forward, grasping my knees and desperately pulling air into my lungs as I waited for the thudding in my chest to reduce so I could speak, think.
    Fiona was breathless, but didn’t seem close to passing out the way I was. How embarrassing. I knew she’d been training for far longer, but I hadn’t started from nothing. I’d always been a runner.
    “Jesus, you’re fit,” I said, glancing up at her, finally able to form words.
    “Thanks,” she said, coyly lifting one shoulder and giving me a small smile. “You’ve just started to train differently, but you’re doing really well. You need to mix it up though. Maybe start some circuit training. Don’t just concentrate on running, cycling and swimming. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it will help.” She tapped my upper arm. “Come on. Keep walking.”
    Fiona and I had been running a route around the city—it was so quiet at the weekends. All the commuters had dispersed, leaving behind empty office buildings and the few of us who lived within the square mile that made up London’s financial district. It had been a peaceful run, a stark contrast to barely being able to squeeze onto the pavements when walking on weekdays. Fiona said the parks of West London, where I’d always run before, got too busy at the weekends, especially if the weather was decent.