Free A Million Guilty Pleasures: Million Dollar Duet by C.L. Parker

truck?”
    “Just tell us,” Polly chimed in. I was shocked. She sounded like I was about to reveal the secret to eternal life or something. Noah was her boss, and her husband was probably the closest friend Noah had, yet she was all up in my business, wanting to know how long his schlong was.
    Lexi sighed and rolled her eyes. “Tell them, for God’s sake, so that we can move on from this horrendous topic.”
    “Fine!” I yelled, throwing my hands up in defeat. “He’s colossal, okay? Huge! And the sex is epic! He knocks it out of the park each and every time he’s at bat. He’s got me speakingin tongues and my head spinning around on my shoulders like I’m possessed or something. If the absolute greatest sex in the universe were to manifest into a physical being, it would clone itself after Noah Crawford. He is the poster child for massive orgasms, the alpha and omega of cocks everywhere. His junk should be stuffed and mounted like a trophy over a fireplace, put on display behind bulletproof glass with heat-sensitive alarms and motion detectors at the Smithsonian of Cockdom! It is the holy grail of penises everywhere, and only he has the ability to harness its full power. In short, Noah Crawford is the epitome of sex. He makes my toes curl and my body convulse. There. Are you happy?”
    The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. My mother’s jaw was slack and Polly’s eyes were bulging out of her head. And then there was Dez …
    “So if you had to put a specific measurement on it, what would it be?”
    I heard a throat clear at the doorway and my head snapped in that direction to find Noah leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets. Judging by the egotistical smirk on his face, I’d say he’d heard just enough of my speech to make him impossible to live with.
    “Sorry to interrupt, ladies,” he said as he straightened and walked into the room. “Mrs. Talbot, you’re looking very well.”
    “I, uh … Well, um, thank you,” my mother stuttered, apparently picturing my boyfriend naked, which was oh so Jerry Springer of her.
    When I’d first seen my mother in the recovery room ten days earlier, Noah had been right by my side, and I remembered the way her jaw had nearly dropped to the floor and howshe repeatedly rubbed her eyes as if she couldn’t possibly have been seeing what she was seeing. She beamed like the mother of a beauty pageant contestant who’d mopped the floor with all those other wanna-bes. Not that my mother had ever treated me that way, but she knew who Noah Crawford was, and she was stoked that her baby girl was dating him.
    “I missed you.” Noah squatted behind me and leaned in to give my neck a very sweet, chaste kiss. Then he wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind and addressed my mother. “I spoke with Mr. Talbot on the way over and he said all the medical equipment arrived today and has been set up. Looks like you’re good to go when Daniel gives you the green light.”
    “Actually, Dr. Crawford said that, barring any unforeseen complications, I can go home tomorrow.” Faye beamed excitedly. “I want to thank you for making all of this possible. I know you’ll probably never claim responsibility, but I also know that if it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t be here right now, and my daughter wouldn’t be nearly as happy as she finally seems to be. You’ve touched the life of each member of our family, Noah, and we can never repay you for that.”
    He hugged me tighter. “I’d do anything for Lanie. Besides, I only did what any decent human being would do if given the resources, Mrs. Talbot. I’m no saint.”
    “Well, in my eyes you are, and I won’t soon forget what you’ve done,” my mother said with misty eyes. She took a deep breath and collected herself before starting again. “Now, Lanie, what are your plans? Are you going back to school?”
    Yeah, she and Mack still thought I was legitimately enrolled at NYU. How was I