Free Fast Lane by Dave Zeltserman Page A

was.
    I had to laugh thinking about how his jaw would drop when Mary told him what she was paying me. He’d get her to tell him. No matter how hard up he was he wouldn’t want to work for that. And anyway, he was probably even dumber than he looked. If there was anyone out there who couldn’t find his ass from his elbow, let alone Rose, it was him.
    * * * * *
    It would look funny for me to go out there and say something, so I sat and waited. After a few minutes I heard the outer door to my office shut. I got up and asked Max to come in. He hesitated before taking my hand, and when he finally did, you’d think I was contagious with something particularly unpleasant. I gave him a big smile and an even bigger slap on the back as he made his way past me. We sat ourselves down and without as much as a how-do-y’-do he tried pushing a folder on me. I ignored it and made my smile nice and friendly.
    “ They put a new coffee machine out in the hallway. If you like I could get you some?”
    He shook his head.
    “ Something from the vending machine? Gum? Candy bar?”
    “ No, nothing, thanks.”
    “ So, Max, how are things going for you?”
    “ I can’t complain,” he said, sounding hoarse, as if his throat had been scraped with sandpaper. “I’ve finished the Crowley job and have the report ready for you to look over.”
    I waved it away. “My poppa always taught me that if you worry too much about business you’re plain worrying yourself too much. We can get to that in a little while. Speaking of little, how’s the missus doing?”
    “ Uh, she’s okay.”
    “ Well, I’m certainly glad to hear that. And how are your boys getting along?”
    He shifted in his chair. “They, um.” He cleared his throat. “They’re doing okay too.”
    “ Regular chips off the old block, aren’t they?”
    “ Um, yes. But they—”
    “ Although,” I cut in, “you can see some of Moira’s features in them. Her better features, that is.”
    “ What do you mean by that?” he demanded, emotion muffling his voice.
    “ Nothing at all,” I said innocently. “Only that some of her features are better than others. Nobody in this world’s perfect.”
    “ I don’t know if—”
    “ Aw, come on.” I winked. “There’s nothing about her you would change if given the chance?”
    “ No!”
    “ There’s something about everyone that could be improved. Me, I’ve never been too happy about my nose. It’s a little too small and flat for my face.”
    “ I’m happy with her the way she is,” he insisted.
    “ That’s good to hear.” I nodded. “It sure must be something having a wife and family. How long has it been since I’ve seen them?”
    “ I’m not sure—”
    “ You know what? I’d really enjoy visiting you and Moira and your boys sometime.”
    Of course I wouldn’t enjoy it at all. Not with the way Moira shuffled about, acting as if I were the reason for all her problems. And not with having to sit there with his boys. It was a shame the way they’d turned out, getting the worse they could possibly get from their parents. Growing up to be big, sullen and dull like their daddy, and with their mother’s pasty, colorless features. It really was a shame.
    I wondered what it was like having a family like that. Waking up every morning knowing they’d be waiting for you at night. I wondered how Max has managed not to take his gun and . . . .
    * * * * *
    Max turned uneasily in his chair, working himself up as he tried to explain why right now wasn’t a good time for them to have company. “Sure we would like to have you over, but, uh, I need to talk to my wife.” His face turned redder as he continued, “Um, this is a bad time, though. Moira hasn’t been feeling well and there’s a lot to do around the house. But I’ll talk to her.”
    I told him I understood and asked if he wouldn’t mind going over his report with me. And damned if he didn’t let loose with a sigh of relief! We started on the report with