Free As You Turn Away (The Walker Boys) by Molli Moran

her to come.”
    “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me.” A pause and Quinn braced herself for what she knew came next. “I’m sorry about your mom. I know it sounds like bullshit, and everyone says it, but it’s true.”
    She finally glanced at him. Even though Moira hated him for what he represented, and for what he could never be, Jonah sounded genuine. And that, more than anything, punched a pinprick in the walls Quinn struggled to hold intact around herself. That he could be genuinely sorry for her mother’s death after all she had done to him, that he even cared at all was more than she deserved. More than she’d expected.
    “That means a lot to me.” Forcing herself to hold his gaze, Quinn nodded. “Thank you.”
    Jonah leaned back, clasping his hands on his knees. It was such a familiar pose that she blinked, suddenly unsure of not just where she was but when she was. She couldn’t have counted the number of nights she’d spent in her studio dancing, while Jonah sat just like that, watching her. No one had ever studied her so intently, yet so reverently. And God, she’d felt so alive under his encouragement—as if for once, it didn’t matter if she wasn’t perfect, because in his eyes, her best was finally more than enough.
    “I read your dad’s in a coma. Will he wake up soon?”
    Tears pricked at her eyes. “I hope so. They said it’s up to him now. I’m supposed to go see him tomorrow…”
    Trailing off, Quinn blinked. She was doing it. Losing her focus, and letting down her barricades. She was doing exactly what she’d been afraid would happen if she let Jonah stay. And what had it taken? Five, ten minutes around him, and she was crumbling…forgetting the anguish, the nights she didn’t remember, but that Lanie said she’d woken crying. She was forgetting everything . And that was dangerous. Hadn’t she learned that already, seen firsthand what happened when she let herself believe in them , in a happy ending? Had she forgotten so soon that, as her mom spent years drilling into her, she didn’t deserve happiness?
    “That’s great news then.”
    “I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this.” She brushed at her eyes, even though she knew it was a fruitless gesture. “I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea, or why you’re even here.”
    “I wanted to check on you, and make sure you were okay. The newspaper article didn’t say if you were alright.” Jonah’s voice sounded strangled now, the smoothness shaved away to reveal the gravel and ashes beneath it.
    The raw emotion was powerful and Quinn recoiled, wondering for a moment if she’d read him all wrong. She dismissed the misgiving, knowing she couldn’t back down now. “And then what?” She tried to keep her voice down, in case Darren really was still nearby, but she couldn’t keep her tone level. “What did you imagine would happen after you looked in on me? Did you ever get that far in this scenario?” She was so close to the edge; every thunderous heartbeat brought her an inch closer.
    “I didn’t think…”
    “You didn’t think , Jonah? You didn’t think seeing you for the first time in four years would have an effect on me? You didn’t think about what condition that would leave me in? You didn’t think about how I’d pick up the pieces afterward? Again?”
    Some part of her was aware she was giving away too much. But the words were out there now, in between them, building to a crescendo that she couldn’t stop. She’d never really believed in her fantasy of calmly talking to Jonah as if their history didn’t exist. As if she didn’t wake sometimes, stretched like one of his guitar strings between pegs, missing him. Missing his touch, his kiss, his arms around her.
    Jonah stood, face flushed. “I didn’t think it would hurt you.” His shout stunned her. “You didn’t have a problem leaving me, so I didn’t guess it would hurt you to see me now.” He moved away from her. “Not