Free Solving for Ex by LeighAnn Kopans Page B

my crazy crush on Brendan Thomas? Or even if I did know about it?
    Probably.
    Would I want to kiss me?
    Hell yeah.
    I caught my bottom lip between my teeth. I was ready to laugh at myself for even trying to pull a purposefully sexy look, but it actually worked. I really did look sexy. A totally new feeling for me. I kind of liked it.
    But how would it look if I actually tried to kiss the guy? You know, give him the signal, lean in, or maybe even grab him to make out in the hallway?
    Something in my stomach quivered. I leaned forward and let my eyes flutter closed. I tried to imagine Vincent’s deep brown eyes looking into mine, communicating something that would be just for the two of us. Something that told me he knew me in a way no one else did.
    I got closer and closer to the mirror, watched my own lips part in anticipation. I closed my eyes all the way…
    …my breath pushed back on my face from the cold glass…
    And there, before my daydreaming eyes, I could only see the flop of Brendan’s hair, could only feel his thin fingers brushing down my neck.
    I leaned back and slammed my hands on the sink, throwing my head back and growling in exasperation.
    “Get the hell out of my head, Brendan.” I wiped my face with the towel, leaving a trace of lipstick that I knew Kristin would be pissed about. I dried my hands on it, too, then chucked it in the laundry bin.
    One last check of my phone. Zero messages.
    “Or at least send me a text, and give me a good reason I should keep you in my head at all.”
    I crossed the hall to my room in a huff, fished out my calculus textbook, and worked the problems at the back of it until my brain felt numb.

as fearful of notice and praise
    I went through a week and a half of walking through the halls of Mansfield Prep being Vincent Cole’s Date to Sadie Hawkins. I couldn’t stop rolling my own eyes at how ridiculous that was. Instead of envying me, those girls should have all been holding me up as a role model for how to be more assertive. Even though I technically hadn’t asked Vincent—he’d accepted my sloppy invitation to someone else. My invitation that was too late.
    Every time I saw Brendan in the halls, in fact, my footsteps echoed off the shining tile—too late, too late, too late. It was a refrain that didn’t make any sense. Just weeks ago, we’d been so close to being together. That morning on the water tower, the way he looked at me through the brightening fog…
    Too late, though. Because even then, when I’d been imagining feelings in his eyes, he already knew Sofia existed. Had already spent that whole damn cruise with her. Had probably been thinking about her while he was looking at me like that. What exactly had they done under those stars together?
    Vincent, on the other hand, was thinking about me. Only me. Just like he’d promised. A promise I hadn’t even asked for, but he upheld it like his life depended on it. Not only did he not carry any other girls’ books, or lunch trays, or backpacks. He didn’t make eyes at any other girls, talk to any other girls, or walk beside any other girls.
    None of the guys here had ever wanted to hang out with me. Probably the combination of math, the camera, and that being around me was pretty much all depressing all the time. Unless they loved a girl who randomly stared off into space and couldn’t hold a conversation particularly well, they weren’t gonna want to go out with me.
    All signs pointed to Vincent being exactly the kind of guy I should want to be with—the kind of guy who wanted to treat me exactly like I should be treated.
    Which is why it was a total mystery that, whenever I saw him, I tried to duck out of his line of sight. Every time I saw that golden mess of curls, chiseled jaw, and strong, wide shoulders, my heart sped up. And not always in a good way.
    Instead of letting it stop me in my tracks, for the first few days, I made my feet speed up right along with my heartbeat, only feeling calmer