Free Love Letters by Emily Murdoch Page A

room. She had studiously ignored Selwyn, who merely strode into the room to pick up some bread, and then left almost immediately. In a way, she was glad of it. Catheryn needed to think. She needed to ponder over exactly what was going on – not only in the world, but in her own heart.
    It was a beautiful day, and Catheryn made her way to her favourite field. Dropping down, she scattered the three love notes that she had received into her lap, her green dress spread over her crossed legs.
    They were all so beautiful. They spoke of love, love from a distance, love without that surety that surely all love deserved.
    Catheryn picked up the last one, the one that Selwyn had so secretively and mysteriously thrust into her hand that previous night.
    Past are his woes , he has won through his perils ,
    He lives in plenty , no pleasure he lacks ;
    Nor horses nor goods nor gold of the mead - hall ;
    All the wealth of earls upon earth
    Belongs to my lord , he lacks but thee .
    Catheryn blinked. What was it that Selwyn had said to her with such passion, in a voice that had trembled when he spoke?
    “He will lack nothing. At this very moment, he lacks but thee.”
    Her eyes fell onto the piece of parchment. He lacks but thee .
    And then realisation, cold, hard, painful realisation hit her, right in her ribs.
    Selwyn.
    It couldn’t be.
    How could it be Selwyn? He was the one that had been helping her discover who was writing them – the servant told her that it was a thane! But Catheryn thought once again about the thanes, and knew in her heart that none of them could have understood, let alone copied out, such beautiful words.
    It was always Selwyn who had been making her laugh, and he whose company she had sought out. Even during her three days at the royal court, she was not interested in their finery, or the potential rank that she could gain from being there. No; Catheryn had only thought about one man.
    Selwyn.
    Which is ridiculous, Catheryn mused, allowing herself to fall back and luxuriate in the green grass. Selwyn’s only a steward. He’s only…
    Handsome. Almost hypnotic in the way that he catches her attention. And whenever she was near him, there was that – that feeling that she was not alone. Of course, technically every time she was with anyone she did not feel alone, but with Selwyn she didn’t feel lonely.
    “Catheryn?”
    Without looking, she knew exactly who that was.
    “Come and sit with me, Selwyn,” she called, not bothering to open her eyes.
    Catheryn felt, rather than saw, him sit down beside her. Selwyn was careful to leave about three fingers widths between them – if he was going to have to speak, he needed to make sure that his tongue would obey him.
    “Catheryn, I need to talk to you.”
    “You do?” Catheryn said, nonchalantly, finally opening her eyes and sitting upright. Selwyn swallowed. He could not believe that she did not realise how stunning she looked, sitting there looking at him with a hint of a smile dancing across her face, and golden sun pouring down onto her, making her glitter like a diamond.
    “Yes,” he said, with a swallow. “About those notes.”
    “What, these?” Catheryn picked them out of her lap and carelessly dropped them in front of Selwyn. “I’m not interested anymore. I…”
    Catheryn was fully intending to reveal him – to shock him into admitting his undying love for her. But looking across at him, at the seemingly nervous state that he was in, it happened.
    Catheryn fell in love with him.
    And she realised that she had not even realised that she had already been falling, falling since she had first received the note. Suddenly, everything that Selwyn did mattered so much more than what anyone else did. Catheryn trusted him, and he made her smile and…it felt like madness, and happiness, and a sharp pain, all at the same time.
    “Catheryn, I have something to confess.”
    Catheryn suddenly realised that Selwyn had said something, but she couldn’t