Free Where I Belong (Alabama Summer) by J. Daniels Page B

face
with a very angry Ben. “Uh, I’m sorry. I was just borrowing your stereo. I didn’t
mean to…”
    He pushes me out of the way and bends down, picking up the
scattered pieces. “What did you do?” I open my mouth to speak but he cuts me
off. “You broke it. It’s ruined. Why are you even in here? I’ve told you never
to come in my room.”
    I step back, holding my hands out in front of me. “I’m so
sorry. Tessa asked me to grab it and I tripped.”
    He throws the pieces of the stereo against the wall. “Stay
away from my stuff! Get out! God, I hate you! I hate you!”
    I dart out of the room, through the house, and back outside.
Tessa sits up and studies my empty hands, tilting her head.
    “Where’s the stereo?”
    “Your brother’s home. I broke it. He’s really angry.”
    Her mouth drops open. “Uh oh.”
    “Tessa!” Ben’s voice booms out the sliding glass door I
haven’t closed.
    We both wince and run for our lives.
    I sigh, clearing that God awful memory from my head. That
was the last time I stepped foot in Ben’s room. I understood his anger at the
time, but it was an accident. And I felt so bad about it, I saved up my allowance
and used the money to buy him a new stereo. But that didn’t matter. Not to Ben.
He still acted like my very existence pissed him off. And that attitude
continued until I moved away nine years ago.
    My existence doesn’t seem to bother him now.
    I make myself a cup of coffee, moving to stand in front of
the sliding glass door as I stir in my creamer. Ben is in the pool with Nolan,
pushing him around on a boogie board. He seems like a natural father, and
seeing him with Nolan does things to me. Things that I try to ignore. He holds
on to Nolan’s hand so he can stand up on the board and pretend he is surfing.
They are both smiling at each other, and watching him share this moment with
his son shows Ben in a completely new light. It distances him from the Ben I
remember from years ago even more. I don’t want to be intrigued by this Ben,
but I am. My brain is screaming at me to stay away from him, but the way my
body reacts in his presence is becoming harder to ignore. Hell, I practically
came in his arms yesterday at the dam. That would’ve been slightly
embarrassing. He was barely touching me and I was whimpering like I’d actually
die if he stopped. Thank God he spoke and snapped me out of my pathetic state.
I really didn’t want to fall apart like that. I wanted him to keep his distance
from me. Being in his presence felt dangerous. I didn’t trust my body around
him. It seemed to betray me every chance it got. He didn’t even have to work to
get me close to orgasm. Just stick him in my general vicinity and I’m immediately
firing on all cylinders and holding the starter pistol in my hand with my
finger on the trigger. Just pathetic.
    I don’t even resist the urge to stare at him while he’s in
the pool. It’s a battle I know I’d lose anyway so I might as well save my energy.
The sun beams off his chest, and as he turns in the pool, I watch as the
muscles of his back ripple with his movements. The dark ink of his tattoo seems
to stand out even more in the sun and I want to be close to him. Close enough
to study the design and read the words that are etched on his skin. His hair is
wet and sticking up a bit, reminding me of the way it looked the other morning
after our night together. There is no ignoring how attractive Ben is. And Nolan
did resemble his dad, but I’d never label Ben as cute. He is ridiculously
handsome, almost too good looking to be real. His words to me from yesterday
keep playing on loop in my head. You are mine. He was so sure of
himself, so certain that I found myself considering the possibility of actually
being his. But I’ve hated him for so long, it seems impossible to let go of
that emotion. Desiring someone and actually liking them are two completely
separate things. And I can’t deny that I desire Ben. It is the whole