Free Exposed (Free Falling) by Raven St. Pierre

receptiveness made an apology on my part seem feasible. 
    Next my eyes went to Jason to see if he’d noticed anything, but his nose was buried in his phone, letting me know that I was in the clear.  Still, remembering that he was in the room sobered me up a bit, made the butterflies in my stomach settle back into their rightful place . 
    I straightened my face and stared at the door as the flower girls entered the sanctuary.  They smiled sweetly and pretended to drop petals onto the aisle, then came and stood in front of me just before the wedding march began.  Per Maisha’s request, that part of the ceremony wouldn’t be rehearsed because she’d heard it was bad luck.  So, with that, the coordinator instructed us on how we were to exit the sanctuary behind Terrell and Maisha the next day. 
    “Meet here,” she said, pointing down to the spot where she stood between the two front pews.  “Link up with your partner, wait until the couple in front of you is at that bow there in the middle, and then proceed straight out through the sanctuary doors and stand to the left so that you’re not crowding the foye r as the guests make their exit.”
    When she fini shed speaking, I glanced over at Terrell as he spoke, asking the woman for clarity on what his cue was to lead Maisha away from the altar at the end, but instead my eyes settled on AJ.  He totally ignored the fact that anyone else was in the room as he stared in my direction.  I wanted to look away, but couldn’t.  Like, literally couldn’t!  His eyes were so deep that I got lost in them just like I used to.  Nervous, I chewed at my bottom lip, feeling a quivering breath leave my mouth when I did.  We watched one another long enough that the coordinator snapped her fingers at us when it was time to exit.  I was desperately trying to figure out what was going through AJ’s mind.  This had to feel just as surreal to him as it did to me.
    Out in the foyer, we gazed at one another often, but said nothing.  It was a relief when the coordinator made it out to address us.  Hopefully we’d be dismissed and I could get out of there and away from these confusing feelings.
    “That was great!  Just remember to smile tomorrow, and stop at the end of the aisle for a photo.  If there aren’t any further questions, you’re all free to go,” she added with a smile.
    I breathed a sigh of relief and only had a few seconds to recover before Jason and the others who’d sat on the pews came out to join the bridal party.  He caught me around my waist with his keys in hand.
    “Ready?  Or did you want to –“
    “We can go,” I cut in.  I wouldn’t even look at AJ now, feeling the pressing need to distance myself.  Being around him had me feeling a little off.  I gave Jason an uneasy smile and he didn’t question me.
    I climbed into the car when he opened my door and sat in silence as we drove back to the hotel.  Luckily, with the radio at a moderate volume, he didn’t pay my lack of conversation too much attention.  My mind was reeling.  Why didn’t it seem like AJ was mad at me like I thought he’d be?  Like my conversations with Terrell and Deanna suggested?  Did I misread their signs?  Here I was thinking I’d be walking into the lion’s den, and AJ’s behavior and body language was anything but hostile.  Dare I say there was a potential for us to actually be okay one day.
    Jason and I held hands as we walked to our room and he was still giving off that ‘can I get some?’ vibe, but I wasn’t exactly in the mood – as if I was ever in the mood, though.  Let’s just say I wasn’t up for faking it tonight.
    “That went pretty smoothly.  I don’t think I’ve been in a wedding where we didn’t have to go over ever ything at least twice.”
    My absentminded response tumbled out while I thought.  “Yeah, I think that was a first for me too.”  I kept an eye on Jason as he removed his shoes, belt, and watch.
    He crossed the room