Free The Book of Fate by Parinoush Saniee Page B

‘Say it out loud for everyone to hear.’
    â€˜They’re not reading books, Mother,’ Ali said. ‘They’re reading something else. The other day, I walked in on them and they quickly hid some papers under their legs. They think they’re dealing with a child!’
    â€˜Go, go and look through her books and see if you can find them,’ Ahmad said.
    â€˜I looked for them before she came home. They weren’t there.’
    My heart was beating furiously. What if they found my schoolbag? Everything would be lost. I cautiously turned my eyes and looked around the room. My schoolbag was on the floor behind me. Slowly, carefully, I pushed it under the blanket draped over the
korsi
. Mahmoud’s cold voice broke the few seconds of silence.
    â€˜Whatever it is, it’s in her schoolbag. She just slipped it under the blanket.’
    I felt as though a bucket of ice water had poured over my head. I couldn’t speak. Ali dove down, pulled the bag out and emptied it out on top of the
korsi
. There was nothing I could do. I felt dizzy and paralysed. He violently shook the books and the letters fell out on the floor. With one leap, Ahmad picked them up and quickly unfolded one. He looked elated. He looked as if he had just received the greatest award in the world.
    His voice shaking with excitement, he said, ‘Here you are, here you are, Father. Listen and enjoy.’
    And he started to read in a mocking tone.
    â€˜Respectable young lady, I have yet to allow myself…’
    I was writhing with humiliation, fear and anger. The world was whirling around my head. Ahmad wasn’t able to read some parts of the letter. He was halfway through when Mother asked, ‘What does that mean, son?’
    â€˜It means when he lovingly looks into her eyes… she is pure and innocent. Right!’
    â€˜May God take my life!’ Mother gasped.
    â€˜Now listen to this. “My heart is I-don’t-know-what with sorrow, with your smile…” You shameless hussy! I’ll show him a smile he’ll never forget.’
    â€˜Look, look, here’s another one,’ Ali said. ‘It’s her reply.’
    Ahmad snatched the letter from him.
    â€˜Wonderful! The lady has written back.’
    Mahmoud, red in the face and with veins bulging on his neck, yelled, ‘Didn’t I tell you? Didn’t I tell you? A girl who fixes herself up and goes wandering around the streets in a city filled with wolves isn’t going to stay pure and untouched. I kept telling you to marry her off, but you said, no, she has to go to school. Yeah, to go to school to learn how to write love letters.’
    I had no defence. I had no weapon left. I surrendered. I looked at Father with dread and anxiety. His lips were quivering and he looked so pale that I thought he was about to collapse. He turned his dark, dazed eyes towards me. Contrary to my expectation, there was no anger in them. Instead, I saw profound sorrow rippling in the gleam of an unshed tear. ‘Is this how you pay me back?’ he muttered. ‘You really kept your promise. You really kept my honour.’
    That look and those words were more painful than all the beating I had received and they pierced my heart like a dagger. Tears flowed down my cheeks and in a shaky voice I said, ‘But I swear, I didn’t do anything wrong.’
    Father turned his back to me and said, ‘That’s enough. Shut up!’
    And he walked out of the house without his coat. I understood what his walking out meant. He had withdrawn all his support and left me in the hands of the others.
    Ahmad was still leafing through the letters. I knew he couldn’t read well and Saiid had written in cursive script, which made it all the more difficult. But he acted as if he understood everything and was trying to hide his delight behind a mask of anger. A few minutes later, he turned to Mahmoud and said, ‘Now what are we going to