Free Backstreet Mom: A Mother's Tale of Backstreet Boy AJ McLean's Rise to Fame, Struggle With Addiction, and Ultimate Triumph by Denise I. McLean

settle for being
used as "backup." Based on my son's growing trust in Lou, I decided to
stick with it.
    Once word got out, the phone calls started rolling in. We tried to do
some screening over the phone to make sure that the boys knew exactly
what they were getting into. Finally, after days of preparation, the weekend arrived and it was time to begin the auditions. Thankfully, the weather cooled off somewhat. That was a blessing since the warehouse was
not air-conditioned.
    We all got there early to set up our tables, chairs and equipment. I
could tell from the long list of names that Gloria had collected that we
were in for a long weekend. One after another they came. They danced,
they sang, they left. It seemed endless and some were not very easy to
listen to. Finally, after two days of auditions, Lou announced that he
had the group that he wanted. Waiting for the next step was torture.

    ABOUT A WEEK LATER, we went to Lou's house to meet the other boys.
Alex barely slept the night before. Watching him, it was hard for me to
not get enthused as well. As we approached the "big, white house," it
dawned on me that the holidays were upon us. The coming year could
be one that I would never forget. But was I getting too excited?
    Lou's faith in the project had never wavered. He was always encouraging and he stayed focused on his goals. He was one of those people
who made you feel like family from the first moment you met him. He
had a knack for making you believe in him and his dream. It was no
wonder that he had convinced the airship shareholders to invest in the
group. I could tell by talking with Alex that he was developing a deep
respect for Lou and what he had accomplished so far in his life. That
growing respect made Alex very passionate about becoming a member
of the group.
    Despite all our warm-and-fuzzy feelings, the question remained, did
this man that we had come to trust have the ability to make my son's
dream come true? Whenever I discussed the project with friends and
agents, it was clear to me that they were skeptical. More than once I
heard about just how fickle the music business could be. Countless bands
each year tried to make it and failed.
    But every time someone condemned the project, I found myself defending it. Maybe it was the trusting glow I saw in my son's eyes. Throughout my life I have had premonitions about things. Gut feelings that I
learned to follow after many years of learning to read them. This was
definitely one of those times. I sensed that this was the beginning of
something big. I thought back to the reading with Matthew. He had
been so emphatic about how this man would change our lives.
    All of those things flashed through my mind as we got out of the car
and began the walk into our future. I just kept praying this was the right
decision. I remembered watching Alex at the auditions as he worked
with the other boys. He demonstrated enormous confidence and seriousness as he showed them the dance moves they had to learn. He had
patience when they made mistakes and worked with them over and
over until they felt good enough to try it on their own.
    When we walked into the house there was a lot of tension in the air.
Gloria looked nervous, sort of edgy. She greeted us hastily and led us
into the game room, where there were a lot of people sitting around. I
recognized some of the boys from the auditions. It appeared they were
all with their parents. Not everyone looked happy. I wondered what we
had missed. The scene did not look promising and Lou was nowhere to
be seen.

    We introduced ourselves to everyone. The boys seemed to hit it off
right away and greeted Alex with hearty handshakes. The introductions
finished and I found a seat. Suddenly, Lou's office door opened and he
stepped out with a mother and son that I remembered from the auditions. I found out later that Lou had been torn between two of the boys
and wanted to speak to them both before we