Free The Reluctant Bride (Montana Born Brides) by Katherine Garbera

looked up into those intense eyes of his. She didn’t know if she’d find the right words to say. If she could comfort him through this. “It makes you human. And you did all you could to help Lane. I know if you could, you would have changed places. It’s only natural that you’d be glad it wasn’t you.”
    He didn ’t say anything else and neither did she. But suddenly she felt very cowardly for running because she had been unsure. Monty had stayed and faced his fears. Looked his friend in the face every day as he recovered, knowing his guilty secret hadn’t made him walk away. In fact, even now he was living in the same town as Lane and creating a life here near him.
    She was proud of him. Her tough Marine fiancé. She only hoped she’d find a way to be the woman he needed by his side.

     
     

Chapter Seven

     
    He held Risa tightly to him, knowing he didn’t want to let go but knew that he had to. It was cold out here this morning, not the place for making love, but it was what he wanted. What he needed. It was hard to believe he had caught her while he still didn’t have her in his arms.
    God, his chest ached from holding back the guilt, pain and anger that he still felt whenever he thought of the day Lane had been hurt. He’d been to see a therapist in Miramar, but talking about his feelings made him feel weird so he’d stopped going.
    He stepped back looked again at the horizon and then back at Risa. She looked too damned good. Their attraction had always been sort of physical, but what he needed from her was something more soul-deep. He wasn’t sure he could trust her. He had questions for her. Answers he still needed about why she’d let so much time pass.
    “ Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked. “Do I have muffin crumbs on my face?”
    He smiled as he suspected she wanted him to. “No muffin crumbs. Just wondering why you came with me this morning.”
    “ Well, you are my fiancé.”
    “ I am. But that didn’t keep you in Vegas. Why did you let so much time pass?”
    “ I was ashamed of how I acted. I wanted to make it right, but then all that time had passed and I thought maybe you’d moved on. I can’t explain it. I feel like a big fraud, running like that, but I felt trapped. You don’t know what it’s like because you have always had so much courage.”
    “ Courage? How do you figure? I just told you the least brave thing about myself,” he admitted. He hated that weakness inside of him. He wished he was as strong and brave as others saw him. Men offered to buy him beers in bars and people thanked him for protecting the country when he was in uniform. But inside he knew he had been doing his job. Just a job that he was good at.
    “ You just told me the most heroic thing about yourself, Monty. You are the kind of man who does what needs to be done, regardless of the cost. And that scares me.”
    “ Scares you? How?”
    “ You’re strong and always know what to do.”
    “ Ha! I wish I did.”
    “ Well, you give a good impression that you do. I’m not even that great at faking confidence. But you’re a good man and I’m broken right now. I wasn’t when you asked me to marry you.”
    She wasn ’t, that was the truth. He could see that now. But he wasn’t the same man he’d been, either. He didn’t care. He still wanted her. Not just writhing underneath him, but as his bride. But could he trust her to stay? Trust her to keep her word?
    She turned in his arms and he read in her big brown eyes her own fear and pride. He imagined the things she might want to say to him but was somehow incapable of. Was he simply fooling himself? Seeing what he needed to see?
    Because him not getting injured when Lane had needed to have a higher purpose, didn ’t it?
    He wanted her. Wanted at least something from this woman to remind him he was alive. He saw that old rusted-out pick-up which he’d called to have towed from his property, but which was still there.
    He stopped