Free My Life After Now by Jessica Verdi

I turned off the engine and got out of the car. He just watched me, his eyes hidden behind his retro, mirrored sunglasses.
    “Hey,” I said lifelessly.
    “Really? That’s all you have to say?” he said.
    “What do you mean?”
    “I mean you disappeared , Luce. No calls, no texts, not even a Facebook status update to let the world know you were alive. The only reason I knew you were coming back today was because I talked to your dads. What the hell is going on with you?” he said.
    “I was sick,” I said.
    “You were so sick that you couldn’t even pick up the phone to let one of us know that you wouldn’t be in rehearsal? Since when is that how you treat your friends? We were worried about you.”
    “I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again.”
    Max sighed and dropped his arms. “Is this about Lisa being back?” His voice was a little softer now.
    “No.”
    “So what’s wrong?”
    “Nothing is wrong, okay?” I began to walk toward the school’s entrance. “Now let’s go, we’re gonna be late.”
    • • •
    The moment we walked into the drama club homeroom, a hush fell over the room. Time stopped, and I stood there like an animal at the zoo. Like a freak on display.
    They can see it, the voice in my head whispered. They can see through your skin. They know.
    I had to get out of there.
    In slow motion, I twirled back toward the door. All I had to do was get down the hall and out of the school and into my car and away from the prying eyes. Home schooling couldn’t be that bad—
    Then suddenly, as if on cue, everyone started talking at once. “Oh my god, how are you feeling?” “Where have you been ?” “That wasn’t cool, Lucy; you don’t even have an understudy!”
    Wait…maybe they didn’t know.
    “Some of us were pretty sure you were dead,” Elyse said, not sounding particularly concerned.
    My head scrambled to keep up. They were acting like this just because I was away for a few days? But that was so ridiculous! Kids stayed home sick and took mental health days all the time. Just because I’d gotten the perfect attendance award every year since eighth grade didn’t mean I wasn’t entitled to a break.
    But they really couldn’t tell. They didn’t know. I was so relieved.
    Courtney watched me from across the room. I couldn’t read her expression—it was something between scowling and questioning—but before I could go over and talk to her, I was sidetracked.
    Ty appeared in front of me and spoke to me for the first time since we’d broken up. “Welcome back,” he said. “Everyone really missed you.”
    “Not everyone,” I said, nodding in Elyse’s direction.
    “Okay, almost everyone,” he admitted with an apologetic grin. “I mean it, though—it hasn’t been the same without you.”
    His dark eyes burned into mine, and for the smallest moment I wondered if maybe he was talking about more than just the play. But then a warm hand clasped around my wrist, and I was being pulled out into the hallway.
    “Are you okay?” Evan whispered once we were alone.
    I nodded weakly.
    He took a deep breath. “So look…if you don’t like me anymore, you can just tell me. I can handle it.”
    I blinked, uncomprehending.
    “What are you talking about?” I asked.
    “I’m talking about what happened last weekend in your room. Things ended weird that night, and then you fell off the face of the planet for nearly a week.”
    “Wait—you think I was avoiding you?” I couldn’t help but laugh a little.
    “Weren’t you?” he said, less sure now.
    “No, of course not.”
    “So what was it?”
    “I was sick.”
    He waited for more of an explanation, but I was overwhelmed and trying to keep it together and that was the best I could do.
    “So you…still like me?”
    “I still like you,” I said, and it was the truth.
    But as soon as the words passed through my lips, I knew I should have lied.

13
It’s a Hard-Knock Life
    Here’s the entirety of what I knew about HIV:
    1.