Free Blooms of Darkness by Jeffrey M. Green, Aharon Appelfeld

those sudden silences.
    However, there were days when she came back from town happy: she had bought a dress or a pair of shoes. She would apologize for being late, bring him a good meal, hug him, and say, “Too bad I can’t heat the closet.” Hugo would be perplexed and tell her what he had thought about during the day. He wouldn’t talk about his fears.
    Some nights bad dreams persecute him, and in the morning he gets up and can’t remember a thing. He has already learned that a dream forgotten in the morning has not disappeared. It is hiding and secretly burrowing. There are forgotten dreams that break out and rise up in the middle of the day.
    Some days Hugo’s father and mother are so distant that even in a dream they seem strange to him. His mother tries to approach him nevertheless. He looks at her and is surprised that she doesn’t understand that from such a great distance it’s impossible to draw near. Mama , he calls out, to share her sorrow more than anything. It is clear to him: the distance between them is steadily growing, and in a little while he won’t see her anymore.
    It isn’t always that way. There are days when his parents appear to him in a dream and remain with him all day long. They haven’t changed. They are exactly as they were. That they are unchanged is felt every step of the way. For example, the way his mother hugs the coffee cup in the morning, and his father puts a cigarette in her mouth. When he sees that picture, he is certain it will be that way forever. He has to be patient. The war will end soon, and the trumpets of victory will sound all over the city.

16
    One day Mariana comes back from town drunk and angry. Her face is rumpled, and lipstick is smeared on her chin. “What happened?” asks Hugo, rising to his feet.
    “People are bastards. Just to steal from Mariana. Just to take from her. Whatever she gives them is never enough. They want more and more, the leeches.”
    Hugo doesn’t understand why she is angry, but he isn’t afraid. In the months he has been with her, he has learned her moods. Now he knows that in a little while she will curl up in her bed and sleep till the evening. Sleep is good for her. When she gets up, her face will be peaceful. Darling , she will ask, what did you do? And it would be as if all her anger had never been.
    This time it is different. She sits on the floor and doesn’t stop muttering: “Bastards, sons of bitches.” Hugo approaches her, sits next to her, takes her hand, and brings it to his mouth. That gesture seems to move her, because she hugs him and says, “Only you love Mariana. Only you don’t want anything from her.”
    For a moment it seems to him that she is about to say something else. Now Mariana is going to sleep, and you, darling, will sit next to her and guard her sleep. Mariana is quieter when you watch over her . This time she surprises him, turns to himwith a wink and says, “Come and sleep with me. I don’t want to sleep alone.”
    “Should I put on my pajamas?”
    “No need. Just take off your shoes and your trousers.”
    Mariana’s bed is soft, the covers are pleasant to the touch, and perfumed. Hugo immediately finds himself embraced in her arms. “You’re good. You’re sweet. You don’t want anything from Mariana. You pay attention to her.” Hugo feels the warmth of her body flow to him.
    His mother used to sit next to him before he went to sleep. She would read to him, she would answer his questions and look in his eyes, but his legs had never touched her knees.
    Now he is embraced in Mariana’s long arms and close to her body.
    “How is it to be with Mariana?”
    “Fine.”
    “You’re really delicious.”
    In a few minutes, she falls asleep. Hugo remains awake. Images of the day he came to Mariana flash before his eyes. Now it seems to him that even her drunkenness is beautiful. The lipstick smeared on her chin adds to her charm. If Mama comes, what will I say to her? The thought passes through