Free Plan B by SJD Peterson

and wild as he stared at me. A strange expression crossed his face, one I couldn’t quite identify as I fought to get air back in my lungs.
    “I shouldn’t be….” Lance sat back in his seat, eyes forward. His hand shook when he reached out and adjusted the flow of the heater so it was now blowing directly on the fogged-up windshield. “I gotta get to class.”
    “You shouldn’t be what?”
    He scrubbed his hands over his face, big chest heaving, looking all kinds of panicked.
    What the hell? I knew he had been into the kiss. I had felt its intensity in every cell of my being. He pulled his coat around him, covered his lap, but not before I saw how hard he was. As I continued to stare at him, trying to figure out what had caused the sudden shift, he crossed one arm across his body, his hand going to his shoulder. He continued to stare at the defrosting window and rubbed at the spot where I had gripped him.
    He continued to rub at the spot, a peculiar look on his face. I sat there watching him and I wanted to be pissed. The selfish part of me was in fact pretty riled. I hadn’t wanted the kiss to end. I wanted it to be the beginning of hot and horny fun. But the other part of me, the part that wasn’t quite so shallow, felt bad for Lance. The kiss had gone from hesitant to hot, growing in intensity until it had a sharp edge. I couldn’t help but think that on some level, Lance had known he was kissing a man, could tell how strong and raw it became as he began releasing the reins he kept on that powerful body. However, when he felt the strength in my grip, the other side of Lance, the part that society had created, came to the surface reminding him that what he was doing was wrong. It wasn’t that I could read his mind, but his statement “I shouldn’t be” was telling, and I was damn sure as I watched him struggle that the rest of the statement would have been doing this , if he’d continued. I shifted in my own seat and pulled the seat belt across me, fastening it. I hid the large bulge I was sporting beneath my coat. Lance was freaked out enough at the moment without me adding to it.
    “Same here. If you’ll just drop me back off at the deli, I can walk from there.”
    The sound of my voice must have jolted him from his thoughts, because he jumped then put the car in gear. “I can drop you off at your next class.”
    I hid my disappointment and worked to keep my voice neutral. “If you could drop me off at the music library, I’d appreciate it.”
    “Sure.”
    The silence in the car was thick and uncomfortable as we made our way across campus. The only sound was the rush of the heater and the steady swoosh of the windshield wipers. The sky had opened up while we’d been in the parking garage, and the snow fell heavily in large white flakes. Winter had come early.
    I stared out my window, watching the flakes as they swirled in the air, my thoughts consumed with what had just taken place between us. Lance had been the initiator of both kisses—yes, both kisses, as I was sure the kiss I had experienced the night before was real—yet I had the distinct feeling that I would have to be the aggressor if anything beyond kissing was to happen. I liked the dance between men. Feeling each other out, figuring out their preferences without coming outright and asking. I already knew Lance was curious, but exactly how far he was willing to go to satisfy his curiosity, I didn’t have a clue. I was also dying to know what was going on in his head, but I had no idea how to ask him. It wasn’t like I had a lot of experience with closeted guys. I just didn’t think So that first male-on-male kiss really freaked you out, huh? was the proper postkiss etiquette.
    Lance dropped me off at the library, and as I climbed out, he called out my name at the last minute. I turned around to find him staring at me, his mouth partially open, and then he seemed to think better of what he was going to say, snapped it closed, and