Free The Cry by Helen Fitzgerald

the red sofa I bought at Harvey Nichols in the living room I painted Pale Parisian Blue, smiling a smile which must be fake because the baby on her lap is crying and I know it’s not possible to smile when your baby is crying. I wonder why they didn’t wait and get one when his mouth wasn’t wide open screaming. I wonder what happened to the floral cushions I bought to match the sofa.
    Then I see the post on the wall, just an hour ago.
    Kirsty McNicol posted on Joanna Lindsay’s wall
Oh my God. I’ve just seen the news – NO! – Tell me it’s not true. You’re not answering your phone. Call me.
    My first thought is plane crash and I’m surprised that I don’t break out in a smile but go hot with panic instead. Maybe I don’t want him dead.
    Or the fires, I think, opening Google search and typing in their names. Maybe they were caught in it, in the car. My heart bangs. I’m afraid for them. I’m sick for Chloe.
    A brief one-liner is all over the news already: Baby Noah Robertson, 9 weeks old, is reported to have disappeared from his parents’ car outside a milk bar in Point Lonsdale. I can’t find any other details, so I search ‘Point Lonsdale’ and ‘Lonnie’ on Twitter, my breathing fast and shallow as I make sense of the conversations.
    HarryDean @hdean
Somethings goin down at milk bar in Point Lonsdale. Cops everywhere.
 
Fiona Mack @Fionamack
@hdean Fire close?
 
Harry Dean @hdean
@Fionamack Nah, raining like a bastard. Main street blocked off wtf
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Can see a dark haired woman across the road from mine yelling
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Shop keeper’s being interviewed
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Man just knocked on my door asked if I’d seen a baby. #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Baby gone missing in Point Lonsdale #lonniebaby
 
Jennifer Weston @jenniferwritesbooks
Oh God. Boy or girl? Terrible. #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
@jenniferwritesbooks Boy, nine weeks #lonniebaby
 
Fiona Mack @Fionamack
@jenniferwritesbooks @bobblypops He didn’t just wander off then #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Police fuckin lookin through my house and asking if I have a Japara #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Coppers gone now. Taken from car outside milk bar #lonniebaby
 
Fiona Mack @Fionamack
@bobblypops Was he in the car alone? #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
@Fionamack cops say parents were in shop #lonniebaby
 
John Mitchell @johnnyonthepress
They left him in the car!? #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Cops knocking on doors all along the main road #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Poked head out door. The man won’t stop yelling #lonniebaby
 
The Kiosk at the Beach @beachykiosk
What have I missed? R u serious? #lonniebaby
 
Patricia Coll @patsycoll
My prayers go out to them #lonniebaby
 
Susan Miller @susangmiller
I’m going to help FIND BABY NOAH! Are you? Please retweet. #lonniebaby
 
Fiona Mack @Fionamack
What kind of person would leave a baby alone in a car #lonniebaby
 
Celesta Veste @celestaveste1
When will people learn? #lonniebaby
 
Bobblypops @bobblypops
Going out for a smoke. See if I can find out more #lonniebaby
 
The Kiosk at the Beach @beachykiosk
RT @susangmiller I’m going to help FIND BABY NOAH! Are you? Please retweet. #lonniebaby
 
Susan Miller @susangmiller
RT @Fionamack What kind of person would leave a baby alone in a car? #lonniebaby
    What kind of person would leave a baby alone in a car? Almost immediately a terrible thought strikes me. They’ll suspect me. I try to calm my breathing but all I’m doing is breathing even faster and making myself aware of it. They’ll say he was going to take my baby, so I took his. I look at the front door. The police will come here first, probably even before they knock on the doors of the local paedophiles. I check it’s locked. I look out the window for headlights, listen for sirens. None yet.
    Chloe. I should make arrangements. Warn her.
    I should not have a drink.
    I