Free Adventures with Jane and her Legacy 01 Jane Austen Ruined My Life by Beth Pattillo Page A

Pond sat in the midst of the open space of Kensington Gardens--a strange name, I thought, since it was really a large lawn with paved trails running through it, not a garden like I'd always thought of them. The widest of the paths cut from South Kensington northward across the park to Bayswater Road. The pond lay about equidistant from the two park entrances. In-line skaters, dog walkers, and teenagers chatting on cell phones thronged the path, and since there was no hope of getting a bench, I found an open patch of grass and settled in to wait for Barry.
    Sitting there, I felt the tension that had been humming through me for the past six months ease a bit. Maybe my quest wasn't so crazy after all. I'd just spent two hours with Mrs. Parrot, and she seemed perfectly sane, or at least mostly sane. I let myself daydream about the what-ifs. What if I completed all of her tasks satisfactorily ... What if she let me have access to the letters ... What if I convinced her to let me publish them ... I could envision my triumphant return to academia. Not to the university where I'd worked with Edward, but somewhere else. A fresh start. My reputation restored. My integrity no longer questioned.
    The only thing was, I realized as I sat there, staring at the ducks in the pond, that what I truly wanted back, I could never regain. I wanted to believe in happy endings again. I wanted to believe that I could trust a man. I wanted to believe there was a hero out there for me, worthy of the title of Darcy or Knightley, Wentworth or Tilney.
    "Emma. There you are." I jumped at the sound of Barry's voice. "I thought you stood me up." His long stride carried him swiftly across the grass.
    "I'm not exactly hiding," I said, trying to sound lighthearted. "Just a little low to the ground."
    Barry plopped down beside me. "I wasn't expecting hordes of people." He leaned back, gave me a long look. "You're upset."
    I forced myself to adopt a benign expression. "I'm not. Just thinking."
    "About me?" He grinned in a charming boyish way that immediately lightened my heart.
    "Sorry, but no." I softened my words with a smile, though.
    "I've been thinking about you." His blue eyes really were something. Something that could get me into a lot of trouble.
    "How's Sophie?" I asked with false brightness. "What's she up to today?"
    He shrugged, not dismissive but clearly not caught up in his colleague's schedule. "Shopping, I guess. I can't convince her there's a big difference between a dollar sign and a pound sign. She doesn't quite get the concept of translating currency values."
    "Ouch."
    "Exactly." He leaned forward and reached out to take my hand. I let him, mostly because the moment he touched me, I felt that zing again. Straight up my arm and then down my spine.
    It had been a long time, I said to myself, trying to rationalize allowing him the liberty. It was just like what had happened with Adam, when he put his hand on my knee during our picnic at Kenwood. I simply needed a little human contact. It didn't mean anything more than that. But then I'd always been good at rationalizing mistakes when it came to men.
    "So you're free to travel until classes start in the fall?" he asked.
    I really didn't want to answer that question, but I couldn't see how I could avoid it now.
    "Actually, I've left the university." No need to give him all the details. "I'm trying to figure out what to do next." I looked toward the pond, studying the ducks and avoiding Barry's eyes.
    "Everybody needs a change now and then. What will you do?"
    I shrugged. "I have no idea."
    His thumb stroked my palm, and I started to regret letting him take my hand. It felt far too good.
    "If you could do anything, what would you do?" he asked, looking intently into my eyes.
    "Anything?" It had been so long since I'd considered that question.
    "Didn't you have a childhood dream? A teenage ambition?" I looked down at his hand holding mine, and memories flared to life. "Yes. I was going to be a