Free Adventures with Jane and her Legacy 01 Jane Austen Ruined My Life by Beth Pattillo Page B

world-famous author." I stopped, gave a rather hollow laugh. "I was forever scribbling away with whatever was handy. Pen, pencil. Crayon."
    "And what happened to all your scribblings?" Barry asked.
    I couldn't believe he was that interested in my innermost thoughts, but his focused gaze and concerted attention seemed to suggest otherwise.
    "My scribblings?" I was always diving for a notebook or a napkin or whatever was handy. "I guess I just grew out of it." Although it was only after I met Edward that I gave up writing entirely. "At some point, you have to realize you're not going to write the Great American Novel."
    Or maybe I'd learned to block out my desire to write. So many things changed after I married Edward. He'd somehow guided me into merging my priorities with his. Or, to tell the truth, he'd managed to subsume my priorities under his, and I'd let him. I had thought that was the way it was supposed to work. After all, he was much more established in his career at the time, and I was just starting out.
    "So you never wrote that novel?"
    "What?" I'd been lost in thought, so it took me a moment to process his question. "Oh, no. It was just a passing fancy." But I knew that I was lying even as I uttered the words.
    Once upon a time, I had wanted to be a writer with youthful ferocity, but my parents had pushed me to get a graduate degree so that I could teach on the college level. There was no security in trying to be an author, they'd said. "You should have a back-up plan."
    And Edward had shrugged off my ambition when I plucked up the courage to share it with him. "You're a good scholar, Emma. Don't waste your energy chasing some pipe dream."
    I'd believed them, of course, Edward and my parents. Why shouldn't I have? Doing the right thing meant doing the safe thing, even if I did have my doubts about my abilities as a scholar. I was good at giving lectures, and I could process and present material so that even the most vacuous undergraduate student could understand the Romantic poets or the importance of Renaissance drama.
    I wrote my lectures ahead of time and followed the manuscript closely. That was the best use of my writing ability, Edward had reminded me time and time again. Until the day my teaching assistant, his lover, managed to take a paper I'd written on her laptop, which I borrowed while she was on vacation, and turned it into evidence that I'd stolen it from her. She hadn't needed a lot of technical skill to make it look as if she'd been the original author of the work. And as is so often the case, my peers had believed what they wanted to believe, which was that the only reason I'd ever been given a teaching position at such a prestigious university was because I shared a bed with Edward.
    "You're a special woman, Emma," Barry said now, jerking me back to the present. While I was lost in thought, he'd somehow edged closer.
    "Um, well, that's nice of you to say." I didn't know whether to shove him away or lean in and let him kiss me. At least the latter course would take my mind off my troubles, although I had a feeling I'd regret it later.
    "Maybe we're star-crossed lovers," he said with a smile. "Just like in one of your Austen novels. Destined to meet in this time and place."
    "Austen didn't have any star-crossed lovers," I said, leaning closer. He was attractive, smart, and seemed interested in me. Why should I resist?
    "Maybe she should have," he murmured. Then he leaned in the final few inches and kissed me.
    I hadn't been kissed in a long time. Not really kissed. And to be honest, I hadn't been really and truly kissed by Edward for months before the kitchen-table incident. I had chalked it up to overwork on both our parts. A temporary situation that would resolve itself at some point. It had never occurred to me that he was too busy kissing someone else to pay that kind of attention to me.
    "Definitely star-crossed," Barry said after he pulled his lips away from mine.
    I was glad he ended the kiss,