Free The Invisible Chains - Part 1: Bonds of Hate by Andrew Ashling

spying on him, he will surely want me gone. And I still don't have enough troops to defend the border. Demrac and the other generals barely take me seriously, and the lower officers don't know me, let alone the soldiers. At any moment a royal writ, whether it be one from father or Portonas, could undermine my position. Worse, I could find myself a prisoner instead of lord governor. There must be a way to avoid this, but I'll be damned if I can see it.”
    Behind his back Anaxantis, who had carefully observed him, as good as he could from his position, quietly went to the table where Ehandar's had left his sword. Without making a sound he removed the belt. Then he went back to where his brother sat and threw it in his lap.
    “Use it,” he said calmly, while he loosened the laces of his shirt, “it will make you feel better. It did the last time.”
    “What?” Ehandar asked, flustered. “What do you mean?”
    “Beat me. You're obviously in pain. Share it with me. Beat me. You like to beat me, don't you?”
    Anaxantis removed his shirt and turned his back to his brother. Ehandar was stunned and immediately torn out of his worries.
    “Is that really how he sees me”, he thought exasperated. “But of course he sees me like some monster that likes to inflict pain. He has no reason to think otherwise.”
    “No,” he said forcefully. “I won't beat you. I don't want to. Why would—”
    “Then take me,” Anaxantis interrupted him while loosening the drawstrings of his pants. “I know for certain you liked that.”
    “Piss on me, if it makes you feel better,” he added.
    “Is he serious? What has gotten into him?”
    Ehandar looked at his brother who now stood before him, clad only in his drawers, his face impassive yet earnest.
    “His hair has grown and it suits him. In fact, he is quite handsome. Strange that I never saw that.”
    “No,” he said, but it sounded less self-assured. “Why would you even... consider this?”
    Anaxantis shrugged.
    “You're my brother,” he said undisturbed, “and I love you. Maybe more than one should love a brother. I don't like to see you in pain.”
    Anaxantis came nearer and sat in his lap, throwing one arm around his neck and laying a hand upon his breast.
    “Take me,” he whispered in Ehandar's ear. “You want to. I want you to.”
    He moved his hand downwards.
    “You can't lie to me anymore, Ehandar. Your body speaks for you.”
    Ehandar felt himself blush.
    “No,” he said softly, “it will hurt. I've hurt you too much already.”
    “I don't care and you will be gentle,” Anaxantis said and his lips sought Ehandar's.
    “Is there no battle, no battle at all I can win? Have I no defenses? Even here?”
    “We're brothers,” Ehandar said, against what he truly wished.
    “We're half brothers. If that. But first and foremost we're Tanahkoses. We don't obey laws. We make them,” Anaxantis replied softly, but confidently, barely breaking the contact of their lips.
    Hesitatingly, very cautiously, Ehandar kissed him back.
    “It's only a kiss. I can stop it at any moment, and then it will be over.”
    Just like water that at first seeps through a small crack in a dam, but gradually widens the gap and at long last bursts through it with roaring force, taking the whole structure with it, Ehandar's feelings swept him away.
    It wasn't only a kiss, and it had never been just the wine, he understood now.
    When finally they stopped kissing and Anaxantis had rested his head against his chest, Ehandar opened his eyes and looked upon the blond head that so trustingly lay against him.
    “How could I ever...”
    But he didn't want his thoughts to go there. He reached in his pouch and retrieved a key. Almost timidly, trying not to disturb the softly breathing boy on his lap, he opened the collar and let it drop to the floor. He gasped when he saw the crusts that had formed on the chafing wounds on Anaxantis's neck, and which somehow he had overlooked until now. He cursed