Free Screwups by Jamie Fessenden

the room opposite Eva’s—all opted for coffee or hot chocolate.
    “Eva,” Danny said, warming his hands on his hot chocolate cup, “have I ever told you you’re insane?”
    “Frequently.”
    “Just so we’re clear on that.”
    “So I was thinking,” Eva said, “since tomorrow night is our last night in the dorm—”
    “Until Sunday.”
    “—we could have a party.”
    “How brilliantly original,” Paul murmured, sipping his decaf coffee.
    Holly seemed to consider the idea while she attempted to fold her napkin into something. Jake couldn’t tell what—maybe a bird. “We shouldn’t just have a party. That’s boring. We should do something original—have a theme.”
    “Like what?” Eva asked.
    “I don’t know. Costumes?”
    “Come dressed as your favorite nudist!” Danny exclaimed gleefully.
    Jake laughed, even as he felt his dick stiffening in his pants again. Jesus. Danny didn’t even have to actually take his clothes off to get Jake hard. All he had to do was mention taking his clothes off. Jake had had an erection the entire time he’d been sketching him.
    “I like it!” Wallace said, giving Danny a high five.
    Holly grimaced. “You would. Guys are always willing to get naked if it will get girls naked too.” Eva nodded in agreement.
    “Not me!” Paul exclaimed. He looked panic-stricken. “I don’t want anyone looking at my fat ass naked.”
    “I keep telling you,” Eva said, “you’re not as bad looking as you think. You probably have an adorable ass.”
    “What if I pop a boner?”
    “There might be a definite risk of bone-age,” Wallace agreed.
    Holly and Eva both snorted and had to take a minute to stop snickering. At last Holly said, “Erections can’t always be helped, so I think we can overlook them.”
    “As long as nobody starts masturbating or humping furniture,” Eva added, giving Paul a stern look.
    Paul looked scandalized. “Don’t look at me! I won’t even be there!”
    “Oh come on, Paul. You have to be there.”
    “What if Holly and Eva lose control and start having wild lesbian sex?” Danny asked Paul. “You wouldn’t want to miss that, would you?”
    “I already have a boner,” Jake said, causing everyone to laugh. But he felt stupid for making the joke. At this point, he doubted he was fooling anyone with his masquerade of heterosexuality. Certainly he wasn’t fooling Danny. He could tell by the way Danny smirked at him.
     
     
    T HE PARTY was held the next evening in Danny and Jake’s room. They were the only ones in the group with a double. In addition to Eva, Holly, Wallace, Jake, and Danny, Holly’s boyfriend Kevin had joined them. He actually lived in Hall House, the outdoor activities minidorm, but they could hardly tell him he wasn’t invited to a nude party with his girlfriend. Fortunately, he was cool. He didn’t even act jealous of Wallace—and for all he knew, Jake—ogling his girlfriend’s breasts. Danny also couldn’t say he objected to a buff, physically fit guy stripping down with them. Wallace was okay—just an average-looking guy, not unpleasant to look at—but Kevin was definitely hot.
    Paul did show up, reluctantly. He tried to just strip to his underwear at first but finally had to cave to Eva and Holly’s badgering and take those off. He then promptly grabbed a pillow and hid his crotch under it for most of the evening. That was fine with Danny, even though it was his pillow Paul was rubbing his crotch against. Paul wasn’t exactly disgusting to look at—more just pudgy and kind of shapeless—but he was a bit on the grubby side. One of those college students who took advantage of the lack of parental oversight to avoid showering except when absolutely necessary. Not at all appealing. Eva had launched a campaign to cure him of this behavior, but it didn’t appear to be having much impact.
    By far the most attractive man in the room was Jake. Kevin was sexy, but Jake was… unbelievable. Sure, Danny had seen