Free It Was Us by Anna Cruise Page A

down. But this? Knowing my sister had been alone with this kind of decision? I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Even her.
    “Did Mom and Dad know?”
    Her laugh was short. It sounded more like a bark. “Uh. No.”
    “So how did you get there? Who took you? How did you keep it from them?” And how did you keep it from me , I wanted to add. Because even though we weren't close, we still knew things, sensed stuff. It was the way I found myself in my current predicament, being drawn into a discussion about something I hadn't told my sister about.
    “I told Mom I was sick,” she said. She ran a hand through her hair, tugging gently at the ends. “Blake skipped school and took me.”
    “Oh.” I didn't know what else to say.
    She dropped her hands to her lap and tucked them between her legs. “We got there first thing in the morning. I was home before school got out.”
    I sat for a moment, trying to remember.
    “It was the day before the Winter dance,” she said, trying to help jog my memory. “I didn't go.”
    The floodgates opened and the memory rushed back in. I did remember. Annika stayed home with an upset stomach—we all thought she had the stomach flu and I'd been scared to death that I was going to come down with it before the dance. Which would have totally sucked because I had a date. My first real date.
    “That day?”
    She nodded.
    I tried to pull up more memories, tried to picture my fourteen year-old sister five months pregnant, tried to figure out how the hell I'd missed the signs. It wasn't like either of us were big girls—we weren't tall, we weren't fat. We were just...average.
    “I wore sweats a lot,” she said.
    “What?”
    “Why you didn't know,” she said. “I mean, I didn't know either for those first couple of months. My clothes got a little tighter and I thought I was gaining weight. So I stopped eating for a couple of weeks but my jeans just kept getting tighter.” She rubbed her hands on her thighs, like she was trying to warm herself up. “I finally realized it might be something else. Bought a test.” She hesitated. “I started wearing sweats. And sweatshirts.”
    I remembered. She'd had sweats in every color. Red. Blue. Gray. She mixed and matched the tops and the bottoms, bought cute Converse high-tops to match. A bunch of girls had mimicked her. My stomach twisted into knots. She'd been trying to hide a pregnancy, not trying to start a new fashion trend.
    “So, anyway. That one was a little long. A little more involved.” She repositioned herself on my bed, crossing her legs. “The second one was no big deal. I was about where you are now. Took a couple of hours.”
    “And when was that one?”
    “Last year,” she said. “Just being careless.”
    “The Pill?”
    She nodded. “I forgot to pick up my prescription. Started it a couple of days later than I should have.”
    “Who's was it?”
    She shrugged. “I have no idea.”
    I opened my mouth to say something but thought better of it. My sister didn't pretend to be anything other than what she was. No words I could speak would change that. She liked guys and she liked sex. Period.
    “Anyway,” she said. “Like I said, it's no big deal. Easy in and out. If that's what you want to do.”
    I didn't say anything, just stared at the wall.
    “Abby?”
    I looked at her.
    “Is that what you want to do?”
    I didn't answer. Because I still didn't know.
     

EIGHTEEN
    WEST
     
     
     
     
     
    The knocking wouldn't go away. I rolled over in bed and slammed the pillow over my head. Stupid goddamn neighbors. It sounded like they were hanging a million pictures in their living room. All at once.
    My phone buzzed.
    Jesus.
    I fumbled for my cell and glanced at it with bleary eyes. Abby. I swiped the screen.
    Wake up.
    I sat up in bed. The knocking sounded again. But this time, I realized it wasn't coming from next door. There was someone at the front door. Pounding.
    I pulled myself out of bed and stumbled down the hallway.