Free Defy by Sara B. Larson Page A

chambers —
    would he take me in his arms and wipe away the tears I’d been
    choking back all day?
    My neck growing hot, I barked out, “That’s all, Rylan. What
    are you standing around staring at me for?”
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    “Sorry.” He shook his head slightly, a strange look crossing his
    face. Before I could try to guess his thoughts, he turned and
    walked out.
    I exhaled sharply when the door shut and I sat down heavily
    on the cot. Marcel’s death was too much to handle. It was making
    me vulnerable, revealing the secret I’d spent years trying to cover
    up. I had to pull it together. I couldn’t allow myself to stare at
    Rylan like that ever again. My only hope was that he’d chalk it up
    to exhaustion and grief. He seemed concerned. He obviously knew
    I was more upset than I let on.
    “Ah, my favorite guard, ready to do my every bidding.”
    The prince’s voice startled me and I jumped up to attention
    again. “Your Highness, I apologize for my inattentiveness.” I
    bowed deeply, hoping he didn’t notice the wetness on my cheeks.
    How did he get the door open without a sound? And what did he
    mean by his “favorite guard”?
    “Alex, rise and quit apologizing. As this is now your bedroom,
    I understand that you won’t be standing at attention at all times.
    Unless your strength and training extend even to the ability to
    resist sleep?”
    I stood up and pressed my fist to my heart. Prince Damian was
    dressed only in pants, boots, and a loose-fitting white tunic,
    unlaced so that the top of his chest was exposed. A chest that was
    more muscular than I would have expected, considering the depths
    of his laziness. I’d never once seen him exercise or train with any
    sort of weapon. He did ride fairly often, but that wouldn’t have
    made a difference in his upper body. The analytical side of my
    mind wondered what he could possibly be doing — and when —
    to create muscle like that. As a member of his personal guard, I
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    was unsettled to think that I didn’t know. But the other side of
    me — the feminine side — had to crush a sudden rush of butter-
    f lies in my stomach.
    “Do you need anything, Your Highness?”
    “Alex, I believe I’ve told you before that you need not address
    me so formally all the time. Especially now that we’re practically
    bedmates.” He gave me a sardonic look, one eyebrow lifted. I
    could have sworn he was suppressing a smirk.
    My cheeks felt f lushed, and I prayed that my olive skin hid my
    blush. A boy wouldn’t blush at that comment, would he? “Sir, I
    would never presume to treat you with any disrespect.”
    Prince Damian sighed and passed a hand over his face. “Of
    course not. One must always treat the prince with the utmost def-
    erence.” He sounded frustrated — almost disappointed. After the
    last two days, I wasn’t sure it was just an act anymore, as I’d always believed.
    Trying to hide my confusion, I asked, “What might I assist
    you with, sir?”
    He turned and narrowed his gaze at me. “You seem like some-
    one I can trust. Second only to the captain of my guard, a dedicated
    person, completely entrenched in duty.”
    “Yes, sir,” I said. My heart beat faster beneath my ribs at the
    look on his face.
    “If someone should happen to bring me a letter, I wish you to
    bring it straight to me. Do not open it or alert Nolen to its exis-
    tence. Can I trust you with this?”
    “Yes, sir,” I said again, more confused than ever. A secret let-
    ter? That’s why he came out to talk to me?
    “Excellent.” The prince paused. “I want to trust you, Alex. I 69
    hope that I am making a good decision by asking this of you.” His
    eyes were piercing on mine, sending a sudden rush of heat through
    my limbs. “I’ve been told my whole life to trust no one. As a prince
    and heir to the throne, I’m to assume that everyone is an enemy.
    Do you think that is wise counsel? Do you think it foolish of me
    to put my trust in you?”
    Why did he insist on