Free Bouquet Toss by Melissa Brown Page B

hands with a look that screams ‘I told you so’’.  Mayson shakes his head and chuckles to himself.
    “Wow,” he says, “Maybe the universe really is trying to tell you something, Daphne.  But, I--”
    Mayson isn’t able to finish his sentence as the DJ is ushering us out into the center of the floor to take a picture with the bride and groom, him with his garter, and me with my bouquet.  I am embarrassed, but thrilled.  Perhaps the universe is speaking to me. And, perhaps it’s time to listen.
    Mayson and I spend the rest of the reception dancing closely to every song played.  He gazes into my eyes and gives me soft kisses.  Stroking my face with his hands, he pulls me tight and breathes in deeply.
    “Thank you for bringing me, Daph,” he says with a serious tone.
    “I’m so happy you were able to join me.” I muster, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the look in his eyes.
    “Me too.  I feel like one day, we may be looking back on this night. What about you?”
    Gazing into his gorgeous eyes, his pensive smile and his light pink cheeks, I want so desperately to tell him how I’d like nothing more than to look back on this night, the night he caught the garter and I the bouquet, the night we realized we were meant to be together.  But, I can’t.  I’m still too terrified to believe that any of this is real. I’m waiting for us to crash and burn, and as much as I know that I need to open myself up to loving Mayson again, I just can’t. 
    And so, I smile awkwardly and say, “That would be nice.”
    Mayson breathes a heavy sigh and holds me close as we sway on the dance floor.  I’m in love with this man.  I hope to one day be able to tell him how much I care without feeling as if my emotions will swallow me whole, leaving me a lonely and bitter shell of a woman when he inevitably leaves me again.  I hope.... I hope.

 
Chapter 12
    Thanksgiving
     
    Mayson and I have been seeing each other for four months now.  It hasn’t been easy.  Being halfway across the country from the man whose touch I yearn for is almost heartbreaking at times.  We text, we talk on the phone, but it is never quite enough.  We’ve only seen one another twice since he accompanied me to Phillip’s wedding.  He was called back to campus to fix structural problems with the project he was running, and each time I was grateful that mistakes had been made. Each time, I dropped everything that I was doing; lesson plans were put on hold, time with friends was postponed, and admittedly, I called in sick one Friday in order to drive three hours to see him.
    Our visits have been rushed, there isn’t nearly enough time for us to spend together as Mayson balances his relationship with me and the expectations given to him by his firm.  I am fully aware that I need to take second seat.  I’ve accepted the role and I’m no longer resentful.  It has become my reality.  And, in full disclosure, I am pleased to have whatever time I can get with Mayson.  Despite my intentions, I am pining for him constantly.  Thinking about him when I should be working, daydreaming of a future together when I should be planning my future as an educator.  I’m lost in him, happily taking whatever I can get from the relationship I have willingly accepted.  This is a long distance situation and at this point, it is too soon to be discussing relocation for either of us.  And deep down, I know that if anyone will be uprooting their life, it’ll be me.  Mayson has always wanted to live in Colorado , and his position is a highly coveted spot.  He and I both know that I can teach anywhere. 
    But, a new school year has begun.  It’s November, and I’m locked in until at least May of next year.  Knowing this, I’m able to relax and not put too much pressure on myself to make any decisions with Mayson regarding our future plans.  We are able to move along at a snail’s pace, which, for the most part, is quite comfortable and