Free Bouquet Toss by Melissa Brown

ll do next.
    “I want you, Daphne.” His eyes lock with mine and I am completely his, completely willing to do whatever he wishes. 
    We make love for the first time, my very first time.  It feels like it’ll be the most incredible yet most heart wrenching experience of my life. I know that the morning light will bring disappointment and despair when I have to say goodbye to Mayson, possibly for the rest of our lives.  As I drift off to sleep, I convince myself that this is all worth it.  I had wanted Mayson to be my first for years.  My wish has finally been granted. But, I’m not at all ready to let go of him. 
     
    The next morning, I wake up feeling unbelievably awkward.  Mayson is snoring quietly beside me. I have no idea what to do. For several minutes, I lay stunned, hoping that he’ll to awaken, take me in his arms and make promi ses for the future, our future.
    But, something in the pit of my stomach tells me that this will not work out. Attempting to leave as quietly as possible, so as to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation, I roll quietly to the edge of the bed.  The rusty springs in the mattress squeak and Mayson lets out a contented sigh.  He is awake.  Crap.  All at once, I’m terrified that he might not even remember that I’m here.
    “Morning,” he says, rubbing his eyes aggressively.
    “Hi.  Sorry to wake you.” I say, trying to hide the relief in my voice, “I was trying to be quiet.”
    “Not a problem.  Hey, how are you doing this morning, you know, with everything that happened?  No regrets, I hope?”
    “No, I don’t think so.  Last night was very nice.  I just can’t believe that we’re both leaving campus after Graduation tomorrow. We’re off to start our lives, huh?” I ramble, pushing my feelings deep down within myself.
    “Thank God!” he declares, sitting up in bed, leaning against the wall.  I hang my head in shame after hearing those words.  Mayson obviously isn’t agonizing over our impending separation. 
    He notices the expression on my face and backpedals, “No, Daphne, I didn’t mean it that way.  I’m just ready to start my career.  After all this work, I need to have something to show for it, ya know?”
    “Sure, I get it.”  My eyes search the room for my shoes.  I need to keep them occupied so that tears don’t form.
    “We’ll be in touch, right?” he asks casually.  It feels like a knife is piercing straight through my fragile heart.  Last night had meant nothing more to him than two old flames rekindling a romance for old time’s sake.  Even though he had said those same words the night before, almost exactly, it is still a surprise to know that he really meant them.  I had hoped for so much more.  I had hoped for forever.
    “Yes, I’d like that.  Listen, I have to head home.  I have so much packing to do before my parents arrive tomorrow for the ceremony.  But, I have your parents’ phone number.”
    “Oh yeah, I have your parents’ address and phone, as well.  We should definitely email, though.” 
    Unfortunately, I already know what it was like to have an email relationship with Mayson and I’m in no hurry to revisit that scenario.
    “Sure.” I lean in to kiss him softly on the cheek, trying to hide the clear disappointment spread across my exhausted and troubled face.  Standing, I walk to his front door and say goodbye to the boy I love.

 
Chapter 11 (Present Day)
    Wedding
     
    “You’re not serious,” Mayson laughs. “You must be exaggerating!”
    “I’m not, I promise,” I confirm, shaking my head.  We’re driving to Phillip and Janna’s wedding.  It’s a gorgeous day; perfect for a wedding ceremony.
    “Were you trying to catch every single bouquet?  Am I going to stumble upon some crazy collection of dried out bouquets in your kitchen cabinets or something? I don’t think I can handle that, Daph.” He’s cracking himself up.  I, on the other hand, don’t find it nearly as humorous as