Free Shot of Sultry by Macy Beckett

to the attention by now.
    “Where’s Bong?” she asked, gesturing for him to take the seat across from her.
    “Parking the van.” When Bobbi leaned around him to scan the half-vacant parking strip directly out front, Weezus clarified, “He didn’t want to park too close to the sheriff’s station, so he pulled around back.”
    She sniffed a little laugh. The courthouse and jail were both adjacent to the square, and she doubted the good deputies of Sultry County would like what they found in the glove box of Bong’s van. Except for Colton—he’d probably confiscate the stash and smoke it himself.
    A few seconds later, Bong jogged inside, drawing the eye of a few college-aged girls in line. At thirty, he still had that baby-faced, surfer-boy look, but he needed to shave his ridiculous, wiry soul patch. It looked like he’d dipped his chin in blond bean sprouts.
    “Hey.” He slid into the booth beside Weezus and pointed at Bobbi’s bowl of grits. “What’s that?”
    Before she could answer, the waitress reappeared, keeping a safe distance, as if the guys smelled bad. Which they totally did. They’d been on some all-natural crystal deodorant kick, and it wasn’t working. “Can I get you something?”
    Weezus frowned at the menu’s limited offerings. “Got any cage-free, organic eggs?”
    “Or a Green Monster smoothie?” Bong asked.
    Bobbi rolled her eyes. She loved working with this duo, but they were prima donnas when it came to food. “Right, because your bodies are such temples.” To Dionysus, maybe. “Just bring some black coffee and a few cinnamon rolls,” she told the girl, who nodded and hurried away.
    While her two-man crew grumbled from across the table, Bobbi got down to business. “Everyone knows there’s nothing real about reality television. It’s scripted and planned out beforehand, and any wild, unexpected stuff that happens is just a bonus.”
    They nodded in agreement.
    “We need to figure out how to bring some drama to the table. Trey and Colton are too laid back, and picking up women won’t be a challenge for either of them because they’re gorgeous.”
    “Yeah, where’s the tension?” Weezus asked.
    “Exactly.” Bobbi salted her grits and took a bite, closing her eyes to savor the buttery flavor. Not as good as Pru’s, but still tastier than Wheaties, her usual breakfast of choice.
    Bong stroked his pseudo-beard. “Once, I heard about this reality director who used to pay extras to stir up shit. Get them to start fights, things like that. What if we hired a pretty girl to get close to one of the guys, then paid someone to play her jealous husband?”
    “I don’t know.” Bobbi turned her spoon upside down and held it in her mouth while considering the idea. She pulled it out, shaking her head. “That sounds so seedy.”
    “Well, we are working for Goldblatt…”
    “True, but the last thing I need is another scandal.” Her career would never survive it. “Let’s try to keep everything on the up-and-up.”
    “Then I’ve got nothing.”
    Bobbi sighed. “They’re both hard-core bachelors, and we’ve got them testifying to it on camera. What I’d really love is to show a one-eighty by the end of the project—have them both in serious relationships.”
    “I’m not much of a matchmaker,” Weezus said. “Besides, I don’t see it happening with these two. I overheard Trey on the phone yesterday, and he said something about moving at the end of summer.”
    “Oh, yeah?” she asked, a spoonful of grits suspended an inch from her lips. “To where?”
    He shrugged. “And Colton’s crazy as a shithouse rat.” Leaning in, he lowered his voice and disclaimed, “I don’t know why a rat would hang out in a shithouse—I mean, they’re really smart animals, and cleaner than most people think—but I heard some redneck say that in the Sack-n-Pay last night.” Then he grabbed Bobbi’s fork and helped himself to a bite of her breakfast. “Anyway, I agree with