Free My So Called Life (Love Not Included Series Book 3) by J.D. Hollyfield

exhaled.
    Shamefully, I did nothing to correct his behavior and just added to my confused emotions by snuggling even further into his embrace. I tell myself that Ian is just a friend who is consoling me in a moment of weakness. I won’t do it again. Once I feel I have my strength back, I will climb out of the perfect place in the world and separate myself from him for the remainder of my stay. I tell myself I will do this right after I’m done resting my head in the crook of his neck.
    I will not define this action.
    I will not define this action.
    I will not define this warm embrace that has my heart beating in a way it hasn’t in six years.

    I eventually grow a set and pull myself together. We have expectations and have to finish greeting guests. Ian seems to know everyone whereas I just smile and nod at faces I don’t remember. A classmate of Ian’s who was anything but kind to me back then actually has the audacity to flirt with me, probing to see if I am looking for a date while I am in town. Ian also does not approve of his behavior and ends the conversation by turning all caveman, putting his arm around my shoulders and bringing me close into his side.
    In and out. Breathe in and out . . .
    I will not define this action.
    Thankfully, Henry and his wife come over and save me from another painful high school reunion.
    “Chrissy, I am sorry again about your sister and John. It is truly a shame for us to lose two great people in this community.” Henry steps forward to give me a hug. Once we break he introduces me to his wife. “Chrissy, this is my wife, Patti. She was really close with Amy.”
    Patti steps forward, her eyes puffy from crying. Catching me off-guard, she wraps her arms around me and embraces me in a strong hug. She releases me and I practically stumble back. “Chrissy, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you. We have heard so much about you,” she says, shocking me.
    “You have?”
    “Oh, yes, Amy was so excited—” she begins, but Ian cuts her off.
    “Patti, can you do us a favor and get Pippa home. It’s getting time for a nap and she looks like she can barely stand.”
    We both turn to see a sullen-looking Pippa hanging on to her great grandmother’s leg.
    “You bet, Ian.” She turns to me. “I have a car seat in our station wagon for times like this. We have spent a lot of time watching Pippa throughout the years.”
    I simply nod. I am such an outsider to these people. I wonder if their kindness is just an act—if they’re really judging me for not being around. Did Amy really talk about me? Was it even nice things?
    I ponder all these things while we say our goodbyes and confirm times for tomorrow’s burial service. I ponder it while we drive back to the house in silence. And I continue to ponder when Ian drops me off, stating he has to take care of some things and will be back later to help get Pippa down for the night.
    This leaves me with buckets of time to think. Something I wish I could just turn off while I am here. By the time we make it home Patti has already put Pippa down for a nap. Walking her out, I turn to a silent house. My sister’s house. This is the first time I have been here alone since I got here.
    The house has a warm palette of colors. The walls are painted soft beige with photo frames covering the space. I begin to walk further into the house, brushing my finger along the knickknacks on the shelves. I make it down the hall, opening doors and peeking into each room. Conquering the laundry room, bathroom, hall closet, the last door I open is the master bedroom and I venture into Amy and John’s private space. I note the beautiful mauve floral comforter covering a king-size bed. I look around at my surroundings, imagining my sister in her room. I picture Amy taking off her jewelry and placing it on the dresser that she and her husband picked out together. I walk toward the nightstand and pick up a book. I read the title on the cover. I assume it was