Free Song of the Nile by Stephanie Dray

remember,” I said, grateful for the warmth against the cold morning air.
    “Best that you do, because everything is going to change for you, Selene,” she continued, tugging at the fabric of my cloak so she could fasten it with a fibula pin. “You’ll be queen of a wild and untamed place. Keep your mind on your duty and don’t distract yourself worrying about Philadelphus. I’ll watch over him as if he were my own.”
    I looked up, meeting her eyes, and saw that they were red-rimmed with tears. I love you too , I thought. She was the emperor’s sister and I was Cleopatra’s daughter. It was something neither of us could say, but I saw it in her eyes, and I hope she saw it in mine. “I’ll honor you always, Octavia.”
    “Just do your duty to Rome and to Juba,” she sniffed, straightening the drape of my gown. “Make me proud.”
    Under the archway, beneath a canopy of vines, Julia appeared. “Selene, they’re waiting for you.”
    I went down the stairs with her and peeked through the bars of the gate at the impressive caravan. Wearing his finery, Juba mounted his dun stallion with the ease of an expert rider. He and Augustus would lead the procession, side by side, and if either man gave a thought to my presence, I had no reason to know it. Meanwhile, Crinagoras and some of the other courtiers climbed into wheeled carriages, readying for travel. Agrippa was there too, sweating and surly. He shouted at hapless soldiers who piled furniture, supplies, and armaments onto carts. “Load it up, laggards!”
    “I’m dying of envy,” Julia said, grasping hold of my fingers and squeezing. “You’re going on an exciting adventure, whereas I’ll never see more of the world than what you can glimpse from the Palatine Hill.” Her bravado came crashing down then. Her lower lip trembled and she threw her arms around me. “Oh, Selene. I don’t want you to go.”
    “I’ll come back to visit,” I promised.
    “You’re too clever for that,” Julia whispered, holding me so tight I thought I might bruise. “You’ve finally found a way to escape. You’d be wise to stay away.” With that, Julia turned and fled back into the house.
    “Julia!” I cried.
    “Let her go,” Octavia said. “Her destiny is right here in Rome, but yours is across the sea.”
     
     
    WHEN I first came to Rome, dragged as a chained prisoner behind the emperor’s chariot, the people spit at me and threw rocks. Now the Romans threw flower petals in the path of the snow-white horses that pulled my gilded carriage. A sort of fervor for all things Egyptian had taken hold of the city in my honor. Women scented themselves with lotus perfume and adorned themselves with jewelry featuring sphinxes and crocodiles. Men wore scarab rings and thick gold bracelets, if they could afford them. Perhaps it was merely the fashion, for the emperor’s own fascination with obelisks and other Egyptian treasures had set the trend. But these might be Isiacs too, come to wish me well.
    Today I was the daughter of the good Queen Cleopatra who had been beloved of Julius Caesar, not the bad Queen Cleopatra the seductress. Today I was the daughter of their Antony, the good Roman general who had avenged Caesar and was merciful to his enemies, not the bad Antony who was enslaved to an Egyptian whore. I was the loyal Roman girl, ward of Augustus, rewarded with a kingdom. So they all cheered.
    When the carriages, the wagons, the standard bearers, and the litters passed through the city gates onto the Via Ostiensis, the breath went out of me. I was leaving! I threw back my head and took in a great gulp of air wondering if Helios passed beneath this same canopy of umbrella pines and if he’d felt the same swirl of emotions I felt now. Anxiety and joy, sadness and triumph, regret and hope. I couldn’t be certain if the invisible shackles that bound me would break or tighten. I only knew that against all odds, I’d emerged from that stifling brick city with my life,