Free Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger by Louis Sachar

over the lake. After dinner they sat out on the deck, under the stars.
    Sprouts lay purring on Jane’s lap. Brussels sat faithfully by her side.
    Life was perfect.
    “I love you, darling,” she said, petting Sprouts.
    “And I love you,” said Sham.
    “I was talking to the cat,” said Jane.
    The butler stepped out onto the deck. “Excuse me, madam,” he said, “but there’s an elderly woman out in the yard.”
    Jane’s long fingernails dug into her cat’s neck.
    “I wonder how she got past the gate,” said Sham.
    “I don’t know, sir,” said the butler. “She’s probably hungry. Perhaps I can give her some left-over—”
    “No!” shouted Jane. “Get rid of her!”
    “Let me have a look,” said Sham. He followed the butler back into the house.
    He returned a moment later. “Darling, you’ll never guess who’s here. One of your former teachers! Isn’t that just the sweetest—”
    Jane screamed. She jumped to her feet. Sprouts flew off her lap and into the hot tub.
    “What’s wrong?” asked Sham.
    “You idiot!” shouted Jane. “I told you to get rid of her!” She kicked her dog out of the way, then climbed over the railing and jumped off the deck to the ground, fifteen feet below.
    Mrs. Drazil came out onto the deck. “You can’t get away from me, young lady!” she hollered.
    Jane hurt her ankle pretty badly when she hit the ground. It was either sprained or broken. She lay on the ground in agony as she looked up at her former teacher.
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    “You have homework to do,” said Mrs. Drazil, looking down at her.
    Jane’s face twisted with pain. “Rub a monkey’s tummy!” she shouted, then struggled to her feet.
    She had a suitcase stashed in the boathouse, just in case this ever happened. She hobbled to it, grabbed it, then limped down to the lake, dragging her suitcase behind her.
    Mrs. Drazil hurried down the steps on the side of the deck.
    Jane groaned as she threw her suitcase into a motorboat. Then she pulled herself aboard and started the engine.
    “Darling, come back!” Sham shouted from the deck as he watched the boat sputter across the water.
    Mrs. Drazil climbed into an old rowboat. “I’ll find you, Jane Smith!” she shouted into the darkness. “You can run, but you can’t hide!”
    Jane’s voice echoed back across the black water. “Rub a monkeeee’s … tumm-mmy … with … yourrr … heaaaaaaaaaa …”
    And neither of them was ever seen again.

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    Chapter 23
    Ears
    Wendy had three. Ears, I mean.
    She had one ear on each side of her head, just like most people. But she also had a third ear, which lay flat on top of her head.
    You couldn’t see it. It was completely covered by her thick, frizzy brown hair.
    She was an intelligent and lovely young woman. She was gentle and kind.
    At least, she used to be. Then she met Xavier and became evil and wicked, but I’ll get to that later.
    She lived in a small apartment in the big city. She always kept fresh flowers in the vase on her kitchen table.
    She didn’t have any friends. She was afraid someone might find out about her ear. She was very embarrassed by it.
    The one on top of her head, I mean. The other two ears were pretty, as ears go.
    Actually, the third ear wasn’t ugly. In fact, it looked just like her other two.
    It was quantity, not quality, that bothered her.
    Then she met Xavier.
    It was at a museum. They happened to be standing next to each other looking at the same painting. The Mona Lisa .
    A guard stood by to make sure they didn’t touch it.
    Xavier was very handsome. But he was frightfully shy. He was afraid of women.
    “That’s a beautiful painting, isn’t it?” said Wendy.
    Xavier blushed. He wanted to speak, but his mouth locked shut with fear. It took all his courage just to nod his head.
    But Wendy knew he liked her.
    Because there was something else about her ear I haven’t told you yet. The one on top of her head, I mean.
    It didn’t hear normal sounds. It heard people’s