Free Ghosts of Manhattan by Douglas Brunt

talk too much or too little. If she’s next to someone who talks constantly, she doesn’t mind saying little. If she’s next to a shy person, she can take on more of the load.
    Conrad keeps putting away the vodka and has gotten wrapped up in telling us about the year he lived in Tokyo. His voice has gotten so loud that it’s the only conversation at the whole table, and he seems to think we’re all fascinated.
    â€œJapan is the best. Women are so subservient there. Every day a couple women would come over and clean my place, fold all the towels, lay my clothes out on the bed. In the evenings they’d give me a massage. Whenever they leave or enter a room, they bow tome.” He takes a drink and looks thoughtful. “I really developed an attraction for Asian women there. Seriously. Not just to the way they act to me, but physically. I really got to like the look. The funny thing is those Japanese guys love blond American women. Some low-rent blond model here can go make a fortune in a Tokyo strip joint.”
    Janice looks uncomfortable. Even the guys are squirming. These are the kind of conversations we try to avoid having with our wives in the room. Nobody gives Conrad a prompt to continue the conversation but it doesn’t matter.
    He seems to have picked up that Janice isn’t happy, so he addresses this for the benefit of the table. “Janice doesn’t mind. She knows I have an Asian fetish. The best part is, she actually likes my Asian fetish.”
    I don’t know if William is curious or if he’s awkwardly trying to help. “Is that right, Janice? It turns you on that Conrad has yellow fever?” William is laughing along with it and misses an angry glare from Jen.
    Janice doesn’t know how to respond but Conrad answers for her anyway. “Oh, she digs it.” He takes another sip of his drink. “Trust me.” His voice gets deeper and more southern.
    Jerry’s wife, Alison, chimes in. “I have a theory about guys with an Asian fetish.”
    â€œOh?” says Conrad.
    â€œThe guys who develop an Asian fetish are the guys who can’t get laid any other way.”
    Jerry and I laugh out loud. Conrad isn’t laughing but isn’t taking offense either. He’s thinking over the merits of the theory.
    â€œNo,” he says. “That’s a lot of bull. Some guys just like Asians. It’s that simple.”
    Janice looks fully embarrassed. I don’t know if she’s embarrassedabout this absurd conversation or if she really does dig his fetish and she’s embarrassed that we now know about it.
    â€œJen, where are you and William going for your honeymoon?” Julia tries to get the table talk back under control. I hope it’s a trip anywhere in Asia.
    â€œWe’re thinking about Hawaii or Turks and Caicos.”
    â€œFantastic.” Julia tries to keep it going. Jen looks stunned and can’t seem to get a thought together to participate further.
    â€œTurks and Caicos.” Conrad slaps his hand on the table. His buzz is huge. I don’t think it can be cured with food or coffee and we’re stuck with it for the night. “What a place.”
    We all nod, waiting for the story Conrad obviously wants to tell. “Janice and I went last year right after the bonus check came in.” He pans around the table, giving each of the guys a look. “It’s the last windy I got. The next one will probably be when I get the next bonus check. The only time I ever get a windy is with a big bonus check.” Conrad starts laughing like it’s part of the joke and should make it funnier for us.
    Jen picks the wrong time to get curious. “What’s a . . .” She gets the euphemism for fellatio before she finishes the question. “Oh.”
    I look up at Julia, who has her nose in her wineglass taking a sip. I can tell she’s in disbelief that a night like this can be part