Free Dark Grace by M. Lauryl Lewis

boat as a temporary home. When Gus sat beside me and put an arm around me, I leaned into him.
    “Gus…” I began. It was hard to even get his name out, let alone what I wanted to say. “It hurts so bad,” I finally mumbled. “I can’t believe she’s gone. I loved her so much.”
    “I know you did, darlin,’” he said somberly. “As did I. She was a trooper if I’ve ever known one. Such a sincere person.” He paused. “You should get some sleep. Susan should be in with a blanket soon.”
    “I don’t think I can sleep, Gus,” I admitted.
    “I’ll send Boggs in.”
    I looked sideways at Gus. “Are you going to be ok?”
    He shook his head. “It’ll be hard but we’ll both be ok eventually.”
    I looked at my belly. The baby within was moving frantically. It actually startled me.
    “What’s wrong?” asked Gus.
    “Baby’s just having some kind of fit,” I said. I cringed as the movements became painful.
    “Looks like it hurts?”
    “A bit,” I winced.
    The door opened and Susan walked in.
    “You guys ok?”
    “Zoe needs to get dry and lay down.”
    “I have a couple blankets and some clothes for both of you. And your pillows.”
    “Thanks, Susan,” I said.
    “Can you send Boggs in once they’re done up there?” asked Gus quietly.
    “ Yeah, sure.”
    I stood and took the clothes, blanket, and pillow from Susan. Gus took charge of setting up the little bed for me.
    “Let me know if you need anything else,” said Susan as she left the room to return to the small galley.
    Once she was gone, I stripped out of my wet clothes and put on a dry t-shirt and panties. Gus averted his eyes.
    “Climb under the covers, Zo.”
    I sat down on the bunk and carefully lay back till my head was resting on the pillow. I felt drained physically and emotionally. Gus knelt beside me and pulled the blanket up to the bottom of my t-shirt.
    “I just want to take a look at the baby, Zoe.”
    “Ok.”
    I pulled my t-shirt up and Gus sighed heavily.
    “What’s wrong?” I asked.
    “Your stomach’s just gotten so big. It’s not normal.” He placed his hands on opposite sides of my swollen abdomen and pressed down gently. “I can feel it moving. Honestly, you look like you’re close to term. You’re not even three months yet.”
    I sighed. “I know something’s wrong.” And I did, deep down, know that whatever was inside of me was not normal. I had come to that conclusion weeks ago.
    “We’ll all get through this together,” he whispered as he rested his head against my belly.
    I placed my hand on his head and smoothed his hair gently. “I know we will. You should sleep too, Gus,” I said.
    He sighed deeply against my stomach, and then lifted his head. “Yeah, maybe.”
    The door creaked, and Boggs entered the small bunk room. I watched as he approached. He looked sad, and a bit shocked.
    “Your belly’s gotten so big.”
    “We were just talking about that,” said Gus.
    I pulled my t-shirt down and let Gus finish covering me with the blanket.
    “The baby’s growing too fast, Boggs. Zoe shouldn’t be able to feel it moving yet. I think we need to watch things carefully.”
    “ Yeah I agree,” said Boggs. “Do you want to sleep?” he asked me. “I can lay here with you.”
    “That’d be nice,” I answered. “Will Nathan be ok without you?”
    “Nate’s fine. Just worry about yourself right now, ok?”
    I nodded.
    “Why don’t you two grab a nap? I’ll go on deck and talk over plans with Nate while Susan and the girls eat.”
    “You should sleep too, Gus,” I suggested again.
    “There’s time for that later.” He stood up and walked toward the door. “Boggs. Take care of her.”
    Boggs climbed onto the narrow bunk and curled up beside me. I rolled over so my back was to him and let him hold me.
    “There’s nothing I can say, Zo. About Emilie. About whatever’s going on with our baby.”
    “I know. You don’t have to. Just hold me?”
    He wrapped an arm around me and held