Free Office Girl by Joe Meno

him, but Jack backs away, murmuring, “Don’t. I’m okay. I’m okay.” And on wobbly legs, Jack finds his tape recorder, still clutched in his hand, and it’s okay, it’s not broken, and he holds it up to his mouth and says, “This is the sound of me getting hit by a car,” and records a few seconds of that before limping off, saying “Ouch” each time his left foot comes down.



AND THAT NIGHT THERE IS AN ANGRY MESSAGE FROM HIS LANDLORD.
    Taped to his door. Where is The Rent? Is It missing? Is it in The Mail? Did you Forget to Pay ? Do Not screw Me, it says. I have BAD Friends . And this is exactly the kind of thing Elise used to take care of and so he finds out how much money he has in his checking account and sees, apparently, he’s going to need a job again.
    And so he looks in the want-ads the next day and finds a job listing that says: Night-owl? Having trouble sleeping? Make big cash working at Muzak Situations, Madison Ave. Great Temporary Work . And he faxes them a resume from the local copy shop but doesn’t hear anything back that day. And still he can’t sleep. And the screenplay is not going well and so he realizes he has to do something. And so he calls his stepdad, David, who is a highly regarded psychiatrist. And his stepfather calls him back and asks him what’s been going on.
    â€œNothing. I’m just. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping. I haven’t slept in a couple of weeks.”
    â€œAre you taking the same dose of Lexapro?”
    â€œI am.”
    â€œHmmm. Do you want me to prescribe you some Ambien or something?”
    â€œNo. I think I’ll try and rough it out.”
    â€œHow are other things?”
    â€œPretty good. Except I hurt my tooth last night. I mean, I really hurt it.”
    â€œWhat happened?”
    â€œI fell off my bike.”
    â€œYou fell off?”
    â€œSomeone hit me.”
    â€œYou should get someone to look at it. You shouldn’t mess around with your teeth, Jack. When’s the last time you went to the dentist?”
    â€œI don’t know. Maybe a couple years. Four or five.”
    â€œWhy don’t you go see Ray?” Ray being Jack’s second stepfather.
    â€œI don’t know. I haven’t talked to him in a long time.”
    â€œHe’s very good. And you wouldn’t have to pay him anything.”
    â€œI really don’t talk to him anymore. I mean, my mom … They’re divorced now.”
    â€œI’m sure he’d take a look at it.”
    â€œReally?”
    â€œSure.”
    â€œOkay.”
    â€œHow’s your mother doing? I heard she got remarried again.”
    â€œShe did.”
    â€œYikes. Fourth time’s a charm?”
    â€œYeah. Maybe.”
    â€œWell, call my receptionist and let’s schedule lunch together sometime. I haven’t seen you in a while. We need to catch up.”
    â€œSounds good,” and Jack hangs up the phone and wonders what he is so afraid of. Why doesn’t he want to talk with his stepfather about what’s going on? And then he holds his hand to the side of his mouth just above his sore tooth and groans out loud.

 
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A DENTAL APPOINTMENT.
    Off he goes to his second stepfather’s dental office on Monday and looks at the lobby directory which lists Ray’s practice on the third floor. Jack takes the stairs because the elevator is out of order and he carefully opens the glass door and enters the office. The waiting room is beige. The magazines on the dark wood table all have to do with golf. Jack takes off his gloves and hat and signs his name at the front desk. The receptionist, a radically beautiful young woman with long white-blond hair, holds a black phone to her ear and smiles.
    â€œI’m here to see Dr. Ray,” Jack says. “My last name is Blevins.”
    â€œI’ll see if he’s available. Please