Free Man From Mundania by Piers Anthony Page A

marginally worse than death. So show
    me your Xanth; I'll take my chances. Actually, it would
    be sort of nice to be in a land like that, where pies grow
    on trees and magic works." He grimaced. "There I go
    again, getting foolish. The truth is, I just want to be with
    you. Ivy; I don't care where you go, as long as I can be
    by your side."
     
    He liked her, as she liked him, without doubt. But he
    had no notion of what he was asking for, and she was
    wrong to bring him into it. Probably she should send him
    back to his dull home. But she knew she wasn't going to.
    "Send us through. Turn," she said. "Both of us."
    Turn nodded, having expected this. "I must warn you
    that the route is not direct. You have to proceed through
    the gourd—and that is different for each person. The Night
    Stallion will know your identity, so you won't be harmed,
    but he does not like having solid folk trespass in the gourd,
    so he won't help you either. You will have to find your
    own way through, and it might turn out to be a significant
    challenge."
     
    "I've been in the gourd before," Ivy said.
    "But never with a Mundane companion."
    She knew that changed the whole picture. But she was
    committed. "We'll do it anyway. Just take us to the
    gourd."
     
    Turn sighed. "As you wish. Princess."
     
    Chapter 4. Mountain
     
    'rey and Ivy followed the fat man out to the
    rear garden. This was a thoroughly fenced exotic jungle
    with pleasant byways and even, by the sound of it, a trick-
    ling stream in the background. Then they came to a mon-
    strous watermelonlike thing, with a stem on one side and
    a hole in the other. This was evidently the "gourd" they
    had mentioned that was the route to Xanth. He was sure
    there wasn't any more inside that gourd than pulp and
    seeds.
     
    Ivy faced him and made signs. Inside talk.
     
    There was another translator box in there? Why not!
     
    Hold hand, she continued.
     
    Gladly! He took her hand. Ivy climbed into the hole,
    and he climbed in right after her.
     
    Suddenly they were in a cave that seemed larger than
    the gourd itself. Oh—the gourd was merely a faked-up
    entrance to this new chamber. Clever!
     
    "This is merely an aspect of Xanth," Ivy said. "It is
    where I thought I was before."
     
    "You thought you were in a big gourd," he agreed.
    Then he realized that the language barrier was gone; they
    were talking directly again! No wait for the translation
    computer. This was an improvement.
     
    "We don't have to hold hands, now that we're past the
    threshold," she continued. "But stay very close to me,
     
     
     
     
    56           Man from Mundania
     
    Grey, because the world of the gourd isn't like regular
    Xanth. It has funny rules, and it can be pretty scary."
    "Scary? Like an amusement park horror house? I'm not
     
    worried."
     
    "The gourd is where the bad dreams are made," she
     
    said. "Then the night mares carry them to each sleeper
    who deserves them. Nothing here is really real, but it can
     
    terrify almost anyone."
     
    Not really real. Was she coming to her senses and ad-
    mitting that Xanth was just a state of mind? That she
    wasn't really a princess in a magical land but just a girl
    who liked to dream? "Thanks for the warning," he said.
     
    "Also, it is set for each person who enters it, though
    usually that's not physical," she continued. "That's why
    I entered first, so that my presence would fix it. You had
    to be in physical contact with me at the time; otherwise it
    would have put you into a separate dream sequence, and
    we might never have gotten together again."
     
    "That would have been bad," he agreed. She seemed
    to make so much sense! She had really worked out this
    fantasy pretty thoroughly. Of course it was modeled on
    the Xanth novels, which she must have read a lot more
    carefully then he had. Now he wished he hadn't skimmed
     
    parts.
     
    "Just remember: nothing here is really going to hurt
     
    us, as long as we keep to the proper path and don't