Free Man From Mundania by Piers Anthony

Magician Murphy's
    curse must have interfered, because I got sent to Grey
     
    Murphy in Mundania."
    They entered Turn's house, which was very nice, with
     
    carpets on the floors and windows looking out on the Key.
    "My understanding of such magic is limited," Turn said.
    "But I doubt that an eight-hundred-year-old curse could
    have such a far-reaching effect. Certainly it would not con-
    fuse a Mundane Murphy for the Magician Murphy or cause
    the Heaven Cent to go completely haywire. There must be
     
    some better rationale for what occurred."
     
    Ivy remembered that Dolph had mentioned the convo-
    luted way that Turn Key expressed himself. She put up
    with it. "Anyway, I have to get back to Xanth so we can
    try again, and I promised to show Grey what Xanth is
    like. You see, he doesn't believe in magic."
     
    "You told a complete Mundane about Xanth?" Turn
     
    asked, appalled.
     
    "It's all right. He doesn't believe it."
     
    "He will if you show it to him!"
     
    "But I have to show him! I don't want him thinking I'm
     
    crazy."
     
    Grey spoke gibberish. In a moment the golem box
     
    translated. "I'm listening to all of this, you know! I'll
    concede that you two know a strange language, but you
     
    haven't shown me any magic."
     
    "A skeptic," Turn said. "That's good. If he returns to
     
    his home now, there should be no problem."
     
    "No!" Ivy said sharply. "I want him to see Xanth!"
    Turn gazed at her. "Xanth is no place for Mundanes;
     
    you know that. He'd get eaten by the first dragon he en-
    countered."
     
    "I'll protect him," Ivy said. "I know my way around
     
    in Xanth. Anyway, I have the magic mirror, so I can get
     
    right in touch with Castle Roogna."
     
    "You intend to take him all the way to Castle Roogna?"
     
    "Of course! So he can meet—"
     
    "Why?"
    This brought her up short. "Why?"
     
    Man from Mundania          53
     
    "Why would you want a man from Mundania to meet
    your folks?"
     
    "Well, if I—he—I mean—" She fumbled to a halt, con-
    fused.
     
    "Because you like him?" Turn asked.
     
    "Well—"
     
    "Do you have any idea how your folks might react, if—"
     
    Grey looked perplexed. "What are you two talking
    about? Even in translation it sounds like nonsense!"
     
    Ivy found herself beset by a storm of indecision. Turn
    had seen right through a notion she had not even known
    she had. She knew very well what he was talking about,
    and knew he was right. She should send Grey home to his
    college right now.
     
    She looked at Grey. He was absolutely nondescript in
    appearance and abilities. He was a nice person—but Mun-
    dania was not a good place for nice people. He would
    have to go back to what he called Freshman English, and
    it would slowly grind his life into mud.
     
    "And if you take him in and he becomes a believer, I
    will not feel free to let him pass this portal again," Turn
    warned. "We can not allow—"
     
    "I know," Ivy said. "Still—"
     
    "You're a princess; you can do as you like," Turn said
    gravely. "But you are young and impetuous, and may bring
    incalculable mischief to others."
     
    "I know," Ivy repeated almost inaudibly.
     
    Turn shook his head grimly. "I wash my hands of it."
     
    "What's going on?" Grey demanded via translation.
     
    Ivy took a deep breath. "Grey, I—I like you, and you
    helped me a lot, and I promised to show you Xanth.
    But-"
     
    He assumed a look of understanding. "But of course
    you can't, because it doesn't exist. Look, Ivy, why don't
    you come back with me, and—"
     
    That did it. "And I will show you Xanth!" she con-
    cluded. "Only, once you are in it, you may not be allowed
    to leave. So I really have to warn you—"
     
    Grey shook his head tolerantly. "Let's assume for the
    sake of argument that Xanth exists and you take me into
     
     
     
     
    54 Man from Mundania
     
    it and I can't return. What is there for me in Mundania,
    as you put it?"
     
    "Freshman English," she said with a smile.
    "Right. A fate