Free They All Fall Down by Roxanne St. Claire

her gaze shifts to Molly and her hand drops.
    I feel Molly stiffen next to me and I know she saw it, too. “I don’t want to talk to them,” I say quickly, even though I suspect she does. No, I know she does.
    “You should,” she says. “They’re all on the list.”
    She’s right. Amanda Wilson and Kylie Leff are anchoring the sides of the group like the cocaptain cheerleaders they are. Between them, I spy Dena Herbert and, next to her, Chloe Batista. Do I belong in that group?
    Someone thought so. I’m surprised at how torn I feel about going over there.
    Chloe trains her gorgeous blue eyes on me and adds a slow nod of permission.
    Molly nudges me. “You’ve been tapped by the queen bee. Better step into the honeycomb.”
    “Or the hive,” I mumble. “I’m not going over there without you, Moll.”
    But she hesitates, holding back. “Why don’t you go make nice with your listmates, and you can slowly get them used tothe idea that you’re a living, breathing BOGO. Buy Kenzie, get Molly for free.”
    I shoot her a smile, feeling a rush of affection for her. “I’ll do that,” I promise. We separate and she goes off to talk to some of the band kids while I make my way to the circle.
    “Kenzie!” Dena Herbert, one of the most visible girls in class, who’s a popular jock but also parties hard, gestures to the spot next to her. “Come on.”
    “Hey, Kenzie,” Amanda calls over to me. “Glad you’re here.”
    She is? I refuse to give in to the small thrill that simple acceptance sends through me. We’re here because a teenager is dead, and no one knows as well as I do how horrible that really is. But I can’t help it. Being part of a group, a clique, a circle of friends who are considered popular is … fun. Just plain fun.
    “If I die young?” Kylie, Amanda’s best friend, calls out, making me swing around in shock. What did that mean?
    “Perfect choice,” chimes in Candace Yardley, a gorgeous Asian girl with waist-length hair.
    “Oh my God,” Shannon Dill squeals. “I love Taylor Swift!”
    Amanda gives her a cutting look. “Actually, it’s the Band Perry. Sing, everyone.”
    Shannon rolls her eyes at the correction, but in another few seconds, someone is singing the first line to the sweet pop ballad “If I Die Young.” The choice is inspired, I have to admit, and almost immediately, I find myself swaying with them, singing off key about being buried in satin on a bed of roses.
    The words, most of which I don’t know, sucker-punch my heart anyway, squeezing tears from my eyes and plantinga far-too-familiar ache deep in my belly. I look around at the faces—strangers, essentially—and feel the weirdest sense of belonging, a comforting warmth that I let wash over me for the duration of the song. When we’re finished, I impulsively hug Dena, and when I look over her shoulder I see Molly sitting on top of a picnic table with some other kids, watching us.
    I don’t want to belong to any group at the expense of my best friend. Pulling away, I give Dena a quick smile. These aren’t exactly optimum circumstances for expanding my social circle, anyway. After all, there were ten girls on that list and only nine of us are alive.
    The thought kind of buckles my legs, but Dena grabs me and offers support. “I know, man. This sucks.”
    I look at her. “She was number one.”
    Dena pales a little. “Let’s hope the bad luck stops there.”
    Next to her, Chloe leans in. “Don’t scare her, Dena.”
    My heart rolls around, caught in a very tight band around my chest. “What do you mean?”
    Chloe just lifts her eyebrows mysteriously. “We’ll talk,” she says to both of us. “But not here.”
    The group starts to disperse and I use the opportunity to go back to Molly.
    Over the next half hour, we hear ten different versions of the story. The best I can tell, the kids who were at Keystone Quarry weren’t from Vienna High, making me wonder why I got an invitation from Olivia and no