Free Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes by R. L. Stine

the ceiling lights all flashed on. I blinked in the
sudden blaze of brightness.
    And then gasped as I stared across the vast basement—at a sea of lawn
gnomes!
    Not six! Six hundred ! Row after row of them, jammed against each
other, staring at the three of us.
    “Whoa!” Moose cried. “It’s a mob!”
    “Hap and Chip lied to us!” I cried.
    Their shirts were different colors. But the lawn gnomes all looked exactly
alike. They all wore pointed caps and black belts. They all had staring red
eyes, wide noses, grinning lips, and large pointy ears.
    I was so startled to see so many of the ugly creatures, it took me a while to
spot Hap and Chip. Finally, I saw them at the side of the room.
    Hap clapped his hands three times.
    And three more times. Short, sharp claps that echoed off the basement walls.
    And then the crowd of gnomes came to life, stretching and bending, grinning
and giggling, chattering in shrill, excited voices.
    Mindy grabbed my arm. “We’ve got to get out of here.”
    I could barely hear her over the chattering, giggling mob of gnomes. I
glanced up at the basement window. It suddenly seemed so high, so far away.
    When I turned back, Hap and Chip had moved in front of us. They clapped their
hands for attention.
    The hundreds of gnomes instantly fell silent.
    “We have brought the young humans!” Hap announced, grinning happily.
    “We have kept our promise!” Chip declared.
    Giggles and cheering.
    And then, to my horror, the gnomes began moving forward. Their eyes flashed
excitedly. They reached out their stubby arms toward us. The pointed hats bobbed
and slid forward, like sharks on the attack.
    Mindy, Moose, and I backed up. Backed up to the wall.
    The gnomes crowded up against us. Their little hands plucked at my clothes,
slapped my face, pulled my hair.
    “Stop!” I shrieked. “Get back! Get back!”
    “We came to help you!” I heard Mindy scream. “Please—we came to help you
escape!”
    Loud giggling.
    “But we don’t want to escape!” a grinning gnome declared. “Now that you’re here, it’s going to be so much fun!”

 
 
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    Fun?
    What did he mean by fun ?
    Hap and Chip pushed their way back to the front and stepped up beside us.
They clapped their hands together to silence the giggling, chattering crowd.
    The basement instantly turned silent.
    “You tricked us!” Mindy screamed at the two gnomes. “You lied to us!”
    They giggled in reply and slapped each other’s shoulders gleefully.
    “I can’t believe you fell for our sad story,” Hap said, shaking his head.
    “We told you we’re Mischief Gnomes,” Chip sneered. “You should have
known we were playing mischief!”
    “Great joke, guys,” I said, forcing a hoarse laugh. “You fooled us. Way to
go. So now let us go home, okay?”
    “Yeah. Let us go home!” Moose insisted.
    The whole room erupted in laughter.
    Hap shook his head. “But the mischief has just begun!” he declared.
    Cheers and giggles.
    Chip turned to the crowd of excited gnomes. “So what shall we do with our
lovely prisoners? Any ideas?”
    “Let’s see if they bounce!” a gnome called from near the back of the room.
    “Yeah! Dribble them!”
    “A dribbling contest!”
    “No—bounce them against the wall. Bounce and catch!”
    More cheers.
    “No! Fold them into tiny squares! I love it when we fold humans into
squares!”
    “Yes! A folding contest!” another gnome cried.
    “Fold them! Fold them! Fold them!” several gnomes began to chant.
    “Tickle them!” a gnome in front suggested.
    “Tickle them for hours!”
    “Tickle! Tickle! Tickle!”
    The room rang out with their excited chants.
    “Fold them! Fold them! Fold them!”
    “Tickle! Tickle! Tickle!”
    “Dribble! Dribble! Dribble! Dribble!”
    I turned to Moose. He stared out at the crowd of chanting gnomes, dazed and
frightened. His eyes bulged and his chin quivered.
    Mindy had her back pressed up against the basement wall. Her blond hair was
matted