Free Under the Hawthorn Tree by Ai Mi, Anna Holmwood

Maybe that day he appeared, and you just happened to see him, so you thought it was me. Look! He’s appeared again.’
    Jingqiu didn’t dare look around. Frightened, she started to run, but Old Third pulled her back into his arms, and holding her tight, he whispered, ‘I was joking, there’s no such thing as wronged spirits. I only said it to scare you.’ He held her for a while, and then joked again, ‘I wanted to scare you into my arms. I had no idea you would start running in the opposite direction. Obviously, you don’t trust me.’
    Jingqiu buried her head in his chest. She couldn’t pull herself away – she really was scared – and so dug herself deeper into this body. He pulled tighter, until her cheek found itself up against his heart. She had no idea men’s bodies smelt like this, so indescribably wonderful that it made her giddy. She thought, if I had someone to depend on and trust, I wouldn’t be afraid of the dark, nor of ghosts. Only of other people seeing us.
    â€˜But you’re scared too.’ She raised her head to look up at him. ‘Your heart is beating very fast.’
    â€˜I’m really scared,’ he said. ‘Listen to my heart beating, beating so hard it’s going to jump out of my mouth.’
    â€˜Can your heart jump out of your mouth?’ Jingqiu laughed.
    â€˜Why not? Haven’t you ever read that in books?’
    â€˜It says that in books?’
    â€˜Of course. His heart was beating so fast it was almost in his mouth.’
    Jingqiu felt her heart, and with a hint of suspicion asked, ‘It’s not fast, certainly not as fast as yours, so how could it nearly be in my mouth?’
    â€˜You can’t feel it yourself? If you don’t believe me, open your mouth and I’ll see if it’s in there.’
    Before she had time to react he had already leant down to kiss her. Jingqiu tried to force him off. But he didn’t pay any attention and continued kissing her, stretching his tongue so far into her mouth that she almost gagged. It’s obscene, how can he do this? No one had ever said that kissing was like this. He can’t be doing this for any honourable reason, she thought, so I’ll have to try to stop him. She bit together so he could only slide his tongue between her lips and her teeth but his assault continued, and she continued to lock her jaw shut.
    â€˜Don’t . . . you like it?’ he asked.
    â€˜No.’ That actually wasn’t the truth. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, it was just that the way it made her feel, the way she wanted to respond startled her. It made her feel wanton and depraved. She liked having his face close to hers, she liked discovering that a boy’s face could be warm and soft; she had always thought them cold and hard like stone.
    He laughed, and relaxed his hold a little. ‘You’re certainly making me work hard.’ He put her backpack back on. ‘Let’s go.’ For the rest of the way he didn’t hold her hand, just walked beside her.
    Jingqiu asked cautiously, ‘Are you angry?’
    â€˜I’m not angry, I’m just concerned that you don’t like holding my hand.’
    â€˜I didn’t say I didn’t like it.’
    He grabbed hold of it. ‘So you do like it?’
    â€˜You know so why ask?’
    â€˜I don’t know, and you’re teasing me. I want to hear you sayï¾ it.’
    Still she didn’t answer and he persisted in squeezing her hand as they walked down the mountain.
    The man who operated the small ferry had shut down for the day. ‘Let’s not shout for the boat,’ Old Third said. ‘There’s a saying around here to describe unresponsive people, it goes, speaking to them is like calling for the ferry after hours. I’ll carry you on my back instead.’
    As he spoke he took off his shoes and socks, and after stuffing his socks into his