twin back.” The pain in his voice cripples me. The guilt overwhelms my body. I crumble to the floor, my legs no longer steady enough to hold me. “I’ll never forgive you for this,” he whispers.
I look up at him through my tear-filled eyes; he looks disgusted. I’ve seen that look before in the hateful eyes of his Father.
“It’s not like you think, Justin,” I manage to strangle out.
“Did you or did you not fuck my brother?” He sounds so cold now, nothing like the boy who picked me up and mended my heart when his brother left it in tatters. “Answer the fucking QUESTION!” he roars, making me flinch.
“Yes, but…”
He doesn’t give me a chance to finish. “Get out. I can’t even look at you. You disgust me. You really are her daughter, Med, no matter how hard you tried not to be. Jared knew it too, that’s why he left you again.”
The realization of what I’ve lost crashes into me. The painful words from someone I’ve always loved and relied on blankets me with an icy chill. I feel like the first fall of winter’s snow has fallen over my body, burying me. On the outside I will be perfect, like untouched snow, but underneath I will remain cold, my heart frozen, protected from the pain of the Jacobs twins.
I stand, feeling a little dizzy. I take a few deep breaths and without looking at him I leave.
I LIFT THE beer bottle to my lips, gulping it down like water.
“You need to chill with the drinking, we’ve only been here an hour and that’s your fourth beer.”
I look over at Max. “I’m nervous.”
His throaty laugh makes me glare at him.
“Hey, less with the glaring. I’m doing you a favor. You sure she’s even going to be here?”
I tip the beer bottle back to my lips, emptying the contents down my throat. I place the bottle on the table and hold my hand up to signal for Drew’s new waitress to bring more drinks. Her flustered face fake smiles, with a nod in my direction. “She will be here, it’s her Mom’s wedding.” I spin the coaster, needing to occupy my hands.
“From what you told me, she hated her Mom.”
I look up at him. “It’s still her Mom.”
The barmaid makes it over to us, placing four bottles on the table. I look up at her to question the four and not two. “It saves me going back to the bar and you calling me straight back,” she explains, annoyance evident in her tone. She turns on her heel and heads back to the bar.
I look over at Max. “Was it just me or was she being funny?”
Max laughs but then his smile falls from his lips. He lowers his bottle, taking in someone across the bar. I know it’s Meadow; she elicits that reaction from men. “Damn,” Max mutters.
I flick the coaster at his head; it rebounds off, hitting the bottles then the floor. I follow his gaze, and true enough, there she is in all her beautiful glory. I swallow, trying to clear the rush of saliva filling my mouth. She’s wearing jean shorts, her long toned legs on display in wedged heel sandals with ribbons that travel up her calf. She’s wearing a dark blue fitted t-shirt with Monsters in the Dark written across the chest. Her hair flows freely down her back.
“Justin. You going to be ok being around her, man. I don’t know how you’ll cope if she’s still pissed” Max’s voice snaps me from my thoughts.
“That’s right, you don’t know, but you know she’s off limits so put your eyes back in your head and your dick back in your pants.”
He raises his hands in mock surrender. “Chill. She’s cute but I know she’s off limits, not hurting for women here Just” He grins.
Truth is, I can’t chill. It has been over a year since she walked out of my apartment and never came back. She was never on campus and it quickly became apparent that she had left for good.
I look back across the bar and find her unique violet eyes trained on me; there’s so much in them, sorrow, guilt, love, memories. I return her look with the same intensity she’s