Free Richard Yates by Tao Lin Page A

“Things like this only get worse over time.”
    “I was expecting this,” said Dakota Fanning. “I am hurt.”
    “I feel terrible,” said Haley Joel Osment. “Things like this just get worse over time. I don’t know.”
    “I cried so much last night,” said Dakota Fanning. “I knew this was going to happen. I’ve been trying to not be obese. I lost 10 pounds already. I fi nally started taking the vitamins.” She said she could fi x things. She said she used to be thin. She said a number and said she used to weigh that number. She said it wasn’t like she was trying to change into something she had never been. She said she worked hard today to get money for the train and spent forty-fi ve minutes printing out maps so she could fi nd Haley Joel Osment in Connecticut.
    “When I say something like this usually the relationship is over,” said Haley Joel Osment. “It probably has to be so from the beginning no one has to change. I don’t know.”
    “I fucked up,” said Dakota Fanning. “I always fuck up.
    I have fucked up everything in my life. I have nothing left now. The fi rst time you met me was the only time in my life where I felt happy. I know that sounds melodramatic but it is true.” Haley Joel Osment said he didn’t know what she was thinking most of the time. He said he was always nervous he would be late to meet her. He said he didn’t know if she ever felt nervous about things like that. He said it mhp-yates-01.indd 65
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    seemed like she just thought about things like getting chocolate and eating it. “Are you angry at me,” he said.
    “Of course I’m not angry. Why would I be angry. I
    fucked up. I hurt you. I was thinking ‘I can’t be late. I can’t be late. He will never talk to me again. I am fucked. I am fucked. I am going to be late. I am going to fuck everything up.’ I knew this would happen. You asked me once if I liked myself and I said no. And you said I was lying. But I wasn’t.”
    “You don’t like other people either,” said Haley Joel Osment. “What do you like then.”
    “I don’t know. You are the only person who can make me happy. I fucked up.”
    “You’re just going to get angry at me if I keep saying things,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You haven’t changed since you met me. You just cared less over time. Which is normal from what I’ve seen. At fi rst you would be early and meet me. Then have excuses. Then say things and not do them. And say you don’t want to be obese. But eat more obesely than I do. And say you want me to send you things and tell you what to do. But not use them when I send them and not do what I tell you.” He said some more things then said “I was more worried than you that you were not going to meet me at the train.”
    “I started the vitamins,” said Dakota Fanning. “I told you that I always do what I say. It just takes me longer. I’m not angry at you.”
    “People are assholes,” said Haley Joel Osment. “You’re going to be angry at me. I think obese people are assholes, they take up more room. Taking up room is stupid. Eating more. People should eat less. And not take up room. And mhp-yates-01.indd 66
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    67 • Richard Yates
    always do what they say. I can’t comprehend how a person can be late.”
    “I’m not angry at you. I will never be angry at you. I’m only angry at myself.”
    “I can’t comprehend how people can be late or obese,”
    said Haley Joel Osment. “If you are obese that means you have given up on life. But a person in a relationship has not given up on life. And if you are late that means you like something else, not the person you were late to meet.
    It doesn’t mean that necessarily, but it means that to the other person, if the other person doesn’t block out that it happened. It’s hard to block out things like that when all I ever talk about is