Free Tigers & Devils by Sean Kennedy

that?” He sounded surprised.
    “Fuck, no! I don’t know who would be more freaked — them or me.”
    “Why would you be freaked?”
    I sipped at the dregs of my coffee. “Maybe I’m not as out and proud as I like to think I am.”
    Declan stared down at his feet. “At least you’re out.”
    I felt sorry for him. I wasn’t comfortable with the feeling. But the thing was, I could understand him. “Hey, I’m an arty wanker in an arty wanker industry. I think the only thing gayer would be working at a fashion magazine. It’s harder doing what you do.”
    “I’m not looking for justification,” he mumbled.
    “I know you’re not.” I shrugged, turned, and aimed for the bin. A gust of wind caught the coffee cup and it rattled onto the wooden slats of the jetty. Declan dived after it like he was on the field, scooping it up deftly and handballing it into the bin.
    “Show off!” I laughed.
    But he looked happier again.
    “Let’s go for a drive,” he suggested.

    “SO what do you do when you can’t play?” I asked as we drove back through the streets of Melbourne.
    Declan kept his eyes on the road ahead, trying to avoid a near-collision with the 86
    tram. “What do you mean, what do I do?”
    “Well, they always make you fly over even though you can’t play. Why?”
    “For one thing, I like it, because I come back here. Secondly, it’s meant to be for team morale. You know, to keep the whole team together. So that I can help the assistant coach.”
    “Sounds like they’re training you up to become Captain.”
    He sounded distant. “Nah, I don’t want to be Captain.”
    “Why not?”
    “Too much attention.”
    And that was the crux of it, I guess. What he wasn’t saying was that it would bring him even more public scrutiny. At the moment everyone thought of him as a great footballer who happened to be shy. If he were Captain, he would be interviewed almost every day; the media would probe more into his life. I wondered, not for the umpteenth time, where this was going and how we could manage to keep seeing each other, if indeed that was what we both wanted. Which it looked like we did.

    44 | SEAN KENNEDY

    “You’re being quiet,” Declan said.
    “You’re not exactly talking my ear off yourself.”
    “What are you thinking about?”
    “Coffee,” I lied.
    “Shit, you must have an addiction.”
    “Better that it’s caffeine than crack.” Once the words were out of my mouth I realised that joking about drugs in sport probably wasn’t the best thing. Change the subject, quick. “So, what suburb did you grow up in?”
    “Glenroy.”
    “Are your parents still there?”
    “Yeah, they like it there.”
    “I bet you they’ve kept your room like a shrine.”
    He didn’t say anything, but his eye twitched.
    “They have!”
    “Well, it’s not like I’m ever going to go back to it.”
    “My mum has a shrine dedicated to Essendon,” I said. “It’s very sad.”
    “So says the Richmond supporter!”
    “Hey!”
    He laughed, pleased with himself. “Come on! Richmond?”
    “We have history behind us, matey. Unlike your team, which was only created through the dregs and pity of another.”
    “Ouch.” He whistled cheerfully. “Got me there.”
    I began to sing the Richmond theme song softly to myself. “ Oh we’re from Tigerland… BOM BOM BOM BOM! ”
    “Stop it,” Declan growled.
    “ A fighting fury, we’re from Tigerland— ”
    “I’m warning you!”
    What was he going to do? “ If we’re behind, then never mind, we’ll fight and fight and win— ”
    “Keep dreaming, and maybe it will happen one day.” He laughed, looking back in the rear view mirror.
    “ We never weaken till the final siren scores! Like the tigers of old, we’re strong and we’re bold—”
    “Don’t do it,” he pleaded.
    That was just like waving a red flag at a bull. “ Yes we’re from Tiger—”

    TIGERS AND DEVILS | 45

    If he hadn’t been driving, he would have blocked his ears at