Free Street Love by Walter Dean Myers Page A

face
    Twisted in disbelief, her body trembling
    As the realization that her life was finished
    Washed over her.
    Her mouth was open but all that I could
    Hear was the wailing of her soul
    As they hustled her from the chaos of the courtroom
    Into the chaos of the foreverness
    That was to be her punishment.
    Guilty of possession and distribution
    Twenty-five years to life
    How could they know she had never possessed
    Anything worth the while
    Had never distributed anything except pieces of herself
    Which she gave freely
    To those in need, or to those who, like
    Her, were broken, and needed a fix?
    She possessed nothing as they led
    Her, handcuffed, away
    What she left behind
    Forlorn and weeping in the second row of benches
    Were not her children,
    Lost and desperate in the whirlwind
    My head is filled with images
    Of Melissa and me on the court steps
    She crying and clinging to my skirt
    Me crying and clinging to a distant God
    As we made our way to the bus terminal
    For the long journey home.
    My head is filled with images
    That mare at night and tear at my flesh
    There is no rational corner in my head
    Beyond making tea for Melissa
    Beyond making conversation with Miss Ruby
    Nothing to make my legs move in the
    Direction of our apartment as if there
    Were sense to moving
    If anyone could look into my head
    See or feel the dread that has captured
    Me or see within this sad, unhappy brain
    They would only turn away
    Turn away.

MELISSA AMBERS
    Mommy seemed a hundred miles away
    In the yellow-light
    Courtroom
    With all of the people standing at the tables
    And Mommy was smaller
    Than they were
    Even though everybody says
    She is so tall
    The judge pushed his glasses
    Up on his nose when he was talking
    But Mommy just looked
    Down
    When the judge said how
    Long Mommy would be in jail
    A terrible sound came out of
    Junice
    A hurt sound
    A Uhhh! sound
    Her body jerked forward
    I was so scared
    So scared
    People were shuffling papers
    They swished as people
    Stood and their feet
    Cluffed across the floor
    Mommy turned
    Her eyes were dark and
    Wild as if she were
    Seeing a monster coming
    I turned to see what Mommy saw
    But all I saw was the people leaving
    Through the big doors in the back
    When I turned back to Mommy
    There was just a little piece of her left
    Between the big policemen
    My skin was crawling
    And my arms were shaking
    Miss Ruby called out in the courtroom
    She said “Be strong, daughter!”
    Junice said I was crying.
    I don’t remember crying but afterward
    Afterward
    My throat was sore

RUBY AMBERS
    Yeah, it’s hard, baby
    It’s hard right down to the bone
    I said Oh, it’s hard baby
    It’s hard right down to the very bone
    It’s hard when you’re a woman
    And you find yourself all alone
    I’ve been flapping and scrapping
    And running from door to door
    You know I’ve been flapping and scrapping, honey
    Running from door to door
    I ain’t what I used to be, ain’t really Miss Ruby anymore
    Oh, daughter, daughter, daughter,
    Why you chasing White Girl dreams?
    Yes, oh, daughter, daughter,
    Why you chasing White Girl dreams?
    Them rainbows you were finding,
    Ain’t really what they seems to be.
    I told Junice to get herself on up
    We ain’t no trifling women
    I been knocked down and flung around
    “Junice, why you looking so sad, baby?
    You got your Miss Ruby here, ain’t you?
    You and Lissa gonna be all right.
    Miss Ruby’s been scruffed and roughed
    In her day but she don’t lay down.
    No sir. You mama will be home ’fore
    You know it.”
    “She got twenty-five years, Miss Ruby.”
    “We Ambers women. We been down and we
    Been up. We don’t tip and run. No, we sure
    Don’t. I had your mama on a cold day
    In December, thirty-some—how old is Leslie?
    Never mind, you ask her when she come Home.”
    “She got twenty-five years, Miss Ruby.”
    “When she come home we got to sit
    Down and have a family talk. My
    Aunt Louise used to say that once in
    A while you had to have a family talk
    Get