Free Gathering Frost (Once Upon A Curse Book 1) by Kaitlyn Davis Page B

I would return.
    But this I never want to leave.
    "Jade?" Maddy calls over the noise of the water. I groan, wishing to be invisible, to blend with the water. "I have clothes for you, if you want them, I mean."
    My own clothes are a heap on the ground, white from soap, dripping with water, too dark in this already dark place. I nudge them away with my foot, only pausing to remove my black heart pin. That, I've earned. That, I will not abandon. It's a good reminder that this life is only a dream, and my real destiny waits back home, with the commander and the queen.
    Relishing my last few moments of peace, I sigh and turn the water off. The instant the stream disappears, my arms feel cold. The chill returns and the heat melts away, drifting up to the sky along with the steam.
    A hand pushes through the curtain. "Here!"
    Jeans and a green shirt are dangling from her fingers, so I snatch them, hastily getting dressed.
    "That was great," I tell her as I pull the curtain aside. Instantly, her expression warms, seemingly happy that I'm more relaxed. And I realize that this entire time, all of her rambling was an attempt to make me feel more comfortable, less alone, less like a prisoner.
    Friends are not something I've ever needed. But an ache in my gut urges me to try, urges me to want.
    "That's the first time since the earthquake that I've showered." The words come slowly through my lips. I force them out.
    "Really?" Her eyes go wide and she leans in, grabbing my arm. "I can't believe that. I mean, none of us really know what goes on inside Kardenia, but I never thought…wow."
    "Yeah," I nod. No more conversation fills my mind. I have no more brilliant words to say.
    I'm totally and utterly blank. Useless.
    "Do you want this?" Maddy asks, presenting me with a hairbrush, which I gladly accept, if just for something to do aside from stand there awkwardly mute. "So what's it like? Kardenia, I mean."
    "Like?" I hesitate, thinking. "Any life I guess. People work and sleep and eat. Nothing unusual except for people like me, who remember how it used to be, but we've adjusted."
    "Yeah, but, how do you like live without any electricity, at all. I mean, even here things seem tough sometimes, but at least we have showers and refrigerators and things. You're like, medieval."
    "I guess," I say, trying to keep the laughter from my voice. But it’s a nice feeling, sort of, to connect with someone, to talk.
    Maddy looks around, as though afraid someone might overhear us. Leaning in, she brings her lips close to my ear, about to ask something I sense is not allowed. "And aren't you all, like…" Pause. I don't move, worried she might stop, wondering what could be so secretive. "Well, I don't mean this to be rude, but like zombies?"
    "Huh?" I turn to meet her eyes at the use of such an unfamiliar word. A pit clumps to life in my throat. I retreat, pull back.
    Stupid.
    I was so stupid to think…
    At my silence, Maddy continues in a hushed voice. "You know, zombies, the living dead? Hasn't the queen like tapped out all of your emotions? We heard you can't really feel, well, anything."
    My eyes turn sharp, squint, and I grip the brush harder as the chill returns to my limbs. The shower was only a temporary fix, a temporary warm. The ice is back in my chest, strong and full of shards.
    I am less than human to these people.
    But Maddy is right.
    I am like the dead. And it was futile to think for even a second that I might come alive again.
    "It's true," I say, voice like a knife, "we don't feel anything."
    At least, we're not supposed to. The queen controls us, and I cannot forget that. I am never out of her sight. I am never free. Even here, underground, surrounded by a different sort of magic, I cannot escape her hold. Cannot escape the stain she left on me, the taint.
    As I think it, her fingers, invisible in my chest, clutch my heart. They squeeze harder, as if sensing my doubts, draining it, emptying everything away until I am left once more with