Free The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: How My Bad-Boy Brother Proved to Me There's Life After Death by Annie Kagan Page B

figured you'd maybe get around the issue by turning the book into a novel, but I'm telling you, Annie, this is better because it's real.
    To be standing in the sapphire blue firmament with this book in my hands is a great honor. I always wanted to write a book. You didn't know that, did you? I wanted to share some of the wisdom I gained during my travels, help others connect to the spiritual side of life. But in my wildest fantasies, I never imagined I'd become an author posthumously [laughs].
    And don't forget to Google “Barnabus,” the name I said as you woke up this morning.
    I was stunned. For the first time, I could see flashes of Billy's world, his shimmering robe, a flicker of Joseph's blue eyes. And for a millisecond I saw the blue-white sphere, which gave me a fleeting feeling that nothing could ever go wrong again. Best of all, I saw Billy's radiant face, with a seen-it-all, done-it-all, bad-boy-saint knowingness in his eyes, looking up at the sphere as if he had been expecting it to show up all along.
    I Googled “Barnabus.” The first search result said:
    Saint Barnabas (1st century), born Joseph
    Joseph! I couldn't read another word. Being told that we had permission to write the book, actually seeing Billy for the first time, and this proof about St. Barnabas being named Joseph—all of it sent my brain into overload.
    Did having permission mean I was now obligated to tell the whole world about Billy? Was Billy trying to persuade me by making me feel special, saying even Houdini couldn't do what we were doing? Having conversations with a dead person wasn't something I wanted to be special at.
    My brother wasn't the only one who could be rebellious.

SIXTEEN
Blue-White Sphere
    I knew Billy could no longer speak to me directly. Since he started becoming the Universe, I had to focus on the blue light that appeared above my bed in the mornings, or I couldn't hear him. It was like a cosmic radio—to hear the broadcast I had to tune in. I decided to ignore the light, at least until I figured out what to do next.
    For days I pretended not to see the light above my bed. Then one afternoon I walked out my front door and was shocked to see Billy above me, a pale transparent figure, floating like a cumulus cloud in the sky. He wore a white robe and was reading a large book that he held open in his hands, a book with a red leather cover just like the red notebook he had given me. Was my imagination creating cartoons, or was Billy using his new body to get my attention? And who was giving him permission to do that? Whatever it was, ignoring Billy was no longer an option. The next morning when I saw the blue light I tuned in.
    Thank you for honoring me by finally sitting down at your computer to write my words. Were you surprised to see me in the sky yesterday, with the red notebook inmy hands? Having my new body does give me certain advantages [laughs].
    How can I describe the blue-white sphere? Picture your own sun blazing about twenty feet above your head, so big it covers the entire sky. This sphere is made of light, not fire, and instead of being yellow, its white core turns sapphire as it radiates out. It's so powerful that if you were anywhere in its vicinity, your flesh would evaporate in a nanosecond. Since my new body is made from its light, that's not a problem for me.
    All beings on earth carry the light from this sphere within them. That's why spiritual philosophies say that we are one. Where I am, this isn't just a theory. I see the blue-white light everywhere, in everything—in me, as well as in you.
    The light from the sphere propels your soul into your body when you're in the womb. It then becomes the invisible force that gives you life. And when the time is right, this same light launches your soul right up into the healing chamber at the moment of your so-called death.
    And, just like me, one day you will get a gorgeous new body made of the light from the blue-white sphere. Then, instead of carrying